My story! " The pain of the past"

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by simplytired1974, Sep 27, 2014.

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  1. So, this is going to be hard for me because I never wrote like this on a forum before. I have had Major Depressive Disorder now for Years. I also

    Suffer from anxiety, PTSD, and OCD! I think that hardest part I am going through right now is getting through the Suicidal and Self Harm Thoughts. Very rarely do I get to

    plan and action. I suffer from nightly (and I mean every night) Flash backs of my Childhood abuse. From the time I was three years of age until I was 17 years old I

    experienced Mental, Sexual, and Physical abuse. When my Step father passed away on the operating table I just stuffed it inside for over 18 years. The summer of 2009 we

    moved into a new house and I started unpacking stuff that I have not seen in years and it was like a time bomb. Everything just started flooding out like a river. I've been in

    and out of mental hospitals for the last five years, the most recent one being Aug21st through Sept 3rd. I have a great Therapist but am currently looking into changing my

    Psychiatrist because I do not feel relaxed when I am in his office. I have no fight in me for myself! The only reason I am still here is because I want to live for my husband

    and 18 year old son. The pain is so powerful and hearing that I need to let it go and move on or they are not hear anymore to hurt you, does not make me feel any better. I

    need to talk about what happened. I am doing that with my Therapist but as she and I agreed I have about Three closets full of crap to clean out and it's just going to take

    time.

    Well there is my story in a nut shell!! I hope I can get the support I need to get through this. I do not have access to the chat rooms because I do not know how to get it

    set up and I refuse to let my family know that I am reaching out here. Please help me. If not a friend just a fellow support that might understand the pain I am going

    through and how long it's going to take to get back to where I feel Healthy again.


    Until later,


    Simplytired1974
     
  2. Invisible Child

    Invisible Child Antiquities Friend

    Hi Simplytired, Reaching out within the community is a good thing. There are many here that know how you are feeling and have or are going through some of the same things as you are so we understand all the thoughts and feelings. If you ever need someone to talk with, to vent to or just someone to listen to you, please feel free to send me a message. Sending you big hugs and thinking about you.
     
  3. fosty

    fosty Well-Known Member

    The road to recovery may be a long one so remember to tell yourself that you're worth it, cos you are. And your family will be better off with you in their lives as well :)
     
  4. Zaheer

    Zaheer Account Closed

    How are you feeling now Simplytired ?
     
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