First time I really talk it out. I was outside at night/ evening. It was 11.20pm and I was going to seea friend. I lived a small town. I didin't see any light and backed off. He was waiting for me. First I thought it was a hazard, but now I don't think so, it was somebody I knew. He kicked me off on a an unused land (rural stuff, sorry for my English isn't so precise). He had a forearm on my throat while he raped me. He had a knife on the lfet side of my throat but I could barely feel it actually because I could barely breathe. I fainted, and I walk up about three hours later. I was bleeding. I put my clothes on as I could. My throat was so sore, my body too. I was in shock and shaking. I tried to knock at my friends door, but no one answered. There was no police there, the first post was 7 km away, walking in the dark. So I walked back home, threw my clothes away (yeah it's all my fault), stayed I dunno one hour under the shower. I did everything wrong. I stayed days curled up in my room. My grandmother saw the cut in my neck, but iclosed my door. Then I just wanted to die, because I found out I was preg some weeks then. Now I think I knew whom he is. A guy who once told me he'd hunt me and rape me in the woods. He had a knife he always played with. Honeslty, I dond't know what I'd do of him if he was in front of me now. I don't know his name, but I know his face. I would cut his balls if possible. I fell preg, and the baby was adopted, once unhappy more. That guy would deserve to pay. I was 20. I wouldn't be the same today. I hate myself for that, I was weak. Thanks for reading.