I just got off the phone with my Mom. Who I love more than life itself. Who I would literally die for. We have joked about suicide. I ended the call saying "you better not do anything stupid........at least not without me". My parents are very kind and generous. They have let a 19 year old horrible demon bi*** take over their lives. They are on the verge of bankruptcy because of her. I have tried and tried to get them to do something about it. They won't. I can't make them. So I just have to sit back and watch this "spawn of Satan" slowly kill them. So many of my friends say, well you can't do anything about it so just don't let it get to you. As I have said, my parents are my life. Sad but true. I have never been married and have no kids of my own. I am a 45 year old loser. Passively suicidal........wishing I had the guts to end it right now. But I can't for two reasons. One, I could not do that to my parents. Two, I am pretty certain I would fail. To me, that would be worse then the hell my life is right now...... My finances are in the toilet too. My medication is not working like it used to. Most likely due to me being a total fata**. I am not looking for sympathy or even a reply. I just need to vent some tonight. I know I can do that here. Which is why I love SF. Hopefully things will look better tomorrow. Not sure how they could look any worse. Wait. I have said that before and things ended up getting worse. Nevermind. I didn't really tell my story like I wanted to. I will do that another time. Thank you for taking the time to read this.