my story - warning - a long post

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twistedwhispers, Mar 15, 2010.

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  1. twistedwhispers

    twistedwhispers Member & Antiquities Friend

    I just got off the phone with my Mom. Who I love more than life itself. Who I would literally die for. We have joked about suicide. I ended the call saying "you better not do anything stupid........at least not without me".

    My parents are very kind and generous. They have let a 19 year old horrible demon bi*** take over their lives. They are on the verge of bankruptcy because of her. I have tried and tried to get them to do something about it. They won't. I can't make them. So I just have to sit back and watch this "spawn of Satan" slowly kill them. So many of my friends say, well you can't do anything about it so just don't let it get to you. As I have said, my parents are my life. Sad but true. I have never been married and have no kids of my own. I am a 45 year old loser. Passively suicidal........wishing I had the guts to end it right now. But I can't for two reasons. One, I could not do that to my parents. Two, I am pretty certain I would fail. To me, that would be worse then the hell my life is right now......

    My finances are in the toilet too. My medication is not working like it used to. Most likely due to me being a total fata**. I am not looking for sympathy or even a reply. I just need to vent some tonight. I know I can do that here. Which is why I love SF. Hopefully things will look better tomorrow. Not sure how they could look any worse. Wait. I have said that before and things ended up getting worse. Nevermind.

    I didn't really tell my story like I wanted to. I will do that another time.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey glad you got some thing off chest. Hopefully your parents eyes will be open soon to this person abusing them. Is there no other relatives who will step in and get them to see what is happening. I am glad you are close to your parents maybe move back there and send the other one away. Just know i read your post and i hope tomorrow is better for you get some sleep okay take care
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Its incredibly hard watching people we love deeply be hurt by someone and feel powerless to stop it. Hopefully, with time they will come to realise for themselves that something needs to change and will then be empowered to make that change. All you can do is keep supporting them and be there- however hard that feels.

    How are you doing this morning?
     
  4. twistedwhispers

    twistedwhispers Member & Antiquities Friend

    Thank you Scum and violet for replying.

    I am doing better today. I apologize for not replying sooner.

    I appreciate your kind words of advice.

    :grouphug:
     
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