I went to film school and then moved to L.A. because I wanted to make movies. I wanted to write, act, direct, and do everything. And the first few years while I was struggling, I remained pretty hopeful. I made some good friends, went to a few industry parties, never made much money, but kept my hand in creative projects for quite a while. I produced a theater show in 2003 (lost a lot of money) and co-wrote a play with a friend in 2004 that played at festival in New York. Things started to go bad in 2006. I was laid-off from my job as a video editor and had to do temp office work for the first time, which was tough because I could never afford a car and L.A. public trans sucks. Then in 2008, the work dried up. The recession hit. One by one, friends moved away or fell out of my circle. I had a massive fight with my best friend and we parted ways forever. A year later I had another fight with my writing partner and we split up. The only good thing that happened in 2009 was that I taught myself to self-publish and since then I published four books, which made me feel good for a while. But most of the time I was lonely, broke, stressed out and drinking. By the time 2010 rolled around, I couldn't lie to myself anymore: I had to move back to Massachusetts and live with my parents. Well, its now 2014, I still live with them, I still temp, my car is dying, I drink too much, my parents are sick of me living with them and so am I, I have no confidence anymore, I'm still lonely (I'm 44 years old and there doesn't seem to be any chance that I'll ever meet a girl who will love me) and I feel incredibly trapped by life. I still try to write, but its harder going now. After four books, its tough to get excited about a fifth (especially when no one noticed the first four). I hate my job, but I can't go back on unemployment. I sometimes think about killing myself, but I know that it would hurt my family (and besides, I wanna see how Peter Capaldi makes out on Doctor Who). Whenever a crisis comes up, I feel petrified. I want to be an indenpendant middle-aged man, but instead I feel like a child in old man's clothing. I hate myself for all my faults and weaknesses. And no woman will ever love me for who I am. That's it.