my story

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by needh3lp, Dec 14, 2014.

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  1. needh3lp

    needh3lp New Member

    it all started when i was eleven years old. I had my very first crush. he called me ugly and too fat for him. I got extremely sad..
    that day
    was the first day i ever cut my skin purposely.
    I was crying like a mad kid. I know i was young, but i think i actually liked this guy allot.
    I was depressed for a long time
    when i was 13 years old, i still believed i was ugly
    still thought i was alone.
    at age 15
    i was considering suicide
    but i thought, what about my family? they will be depressed if i leave them.
    at my 16th birthday,
    i had to invite strangers just so that more than my mom, my father and my little sister won't be the only people there.
    a boy came upto me and called me pretty...
    i thanked him and then before anything else could happen,
    he walked away and i saw his folks paying him 20 dollar bills. he didnt really think i was pretty at all.
    i am now 18 years old
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  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, do you really think that guy got paid to be nice to you? If so then at least someone cared enough about you to do that. If not then you might have just made new a new friend. I just can't imagine someone paying, that's mean although their intentions were probably good.
    Anyway, welcome to the forums, hope you will make new friends here :hug:
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I have never met an ugly person before only ugly from the inside for some people who have bad morals.

    Everyone's beautiful in their own way. everyone's unique.

    Boys can be clueless when they're 11 years old. Boys think girls have cooties at that stage for a lot boys.

    For the boy who got paid 20, it's more likely it was bad coindence he was probably getting paid for a different reason and you just happened to see it at a wrong time. He probably needed money to go out and was bugging his parents for it. Why would a strange parent pay 20 for their son to tell a girl she's pretty? It doesn't make sense. Right?

    Give yourself some credit, you're beautiful. More often you think you are, the more confident you will be and guys love confident women.
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