Hello there, I know you've all heard of people like me wanting help. But I guess there's a lot to my story. This time last year, I had everything in the world, my place at university, a relationship, my parents' support, a motivational family and good friends. But it didn't last long. My ex girlfriend broke up with me, I had failed my second year at university and had to leave. My parents now see me as burden who has ruined their hopes and dreams of seeing their child with a degree. Now I'm at point where I just want to give up and leave forever. I'm crying as I type this cos I have no one turn and I feel so alone in this world. I really want to study, find a girl and get settled in life. But every time I face myself with these aims, I am only reminded about my failures. I desperately need help. I just feel like my life is over, and that I'm no use to my parents. I honestly feel like killing myself but I'm too scared. I want to live and experience so much. A family, my very own children, a wonderful wife, a passionate career. But I'm scared
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- Thread starter Abhiram
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It seems like you are living for everybody, but you. For a girl. For your parents. Life is so very hard trying to live it on our own terms, but living it for others just tips us the wrong way when we are already struggling. I know that a bad fight with someone I care about will almost immediately lead me to trying suicide. My doctor lives in fear of me getting into it with other people as a result. Don't make that your habit as you sound young and able to adjust-although changing can seem impossible, I'm told it isn't.
Hi there @Abhiram and welcome to SF. Is there any chance you can get back into university? If so, what do you have to do to get back in?
I am really sorry you are feeling so low and sorry about the break up but you are young and you will meet many more girl, don't worry about relationships now, concentrate on your education. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for. I hope things get better for you but they will only get better if you are willing to change, so put 100 percent into it. I assume you are considering suicide, have you spoken to any type of professional about how you feel? That might be a good idea
I am really sorry you are feeling so low and sorry about the break up but you are young and you will meet many more girl, don't worry about relationships now, concentrate on your education. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for. I hope things get better for you but they will only get better if you are willing to change, so put 100 percent into it. I assume you are considering suicide, have you spoken to any type of professional about how you feel? That might be a good idea
Hi Abhiram and welcome
It's ok to be scared, we all get scared, some hide it better than others but we all feel it, you have a lot going on in your head at the moment, your overwhelmed with the past and the future and both of these are beyond your control, have you told anyone how you are feeling and thinking, it's not uncommon to feel and think the way you are and it been proven time and time again that talking and seeking professional support for a while help people deal and heal with these phases in life, and that's what it is, a passing phase, get tough with the negative thoughts telling you it's the end of the world, it's not, as you said yourself this time last year you had it all, this time next year you may very well have it all again, if you haven't already done it, speak to you parents or you family doctor if you have one, and make a start to your recovery.
Love and Light
P
It's ok to be scared, we all get scared, some hide it better than others but we all feel it, you have a lot going on in your head at the moment, your overwhelmed with the past and the future and both of these are beyond your control, have you told anyone how you are feeling and thinking, it's not uncommon to feel and think the way you are and it been proven time and time again that talking and seeking professional support for a while help people deal and heal with these phases in life, and that's what it is, a passing phase, get tough with the negative thoughts telling you it's the end of the world, it's not, as you said yourself this time last year you had it all, this time next year you may very well have it all again, if you haven't already done it, speak to you parents or you family doctor if you have one, and make a start to your recovery.
Love and Light
P
Hi Abhiram,
Dying or suicide is not an option. It does not solve your problems. You have to change your outlook on life. You are a young man and have so much to live for. Before you try loving another, first start loving yourself. When those thoughts come, you have to ask yourself where did that thought come from. You have to take unhealthy thoughts captive. Just as you control who comes into your house, you have the power to control unhealthy/negative thoughts. Have you tried speaking positive affirmations over yourself?
School wise I have failed a semester and even been on academic probation. It is not to late for you to get back in school. Find a subject that you want to study or that interest you. You may need to start with a class or two to get your confidence up or online classes, or a community college.
Have your parents you are a burden on them? Are those really your parents thoughts concerning you? If you are not disabled then you can find a job so that they are not taking care of you now that you are an adult. You have to work on your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence because if you don't and take that in a relationship that other person will fail you. You are responsible for your happiness. That woman could tell you she loves you and encourage you but you will find a way to beat yourself up or not believe her. It is important to go into a relationship as a whole person not a broken person. You have to focus on the positive things in your life and not the negative or the failures. Something as simple as saying thank you I'm alive, thank you I can walk, thank you I can talk, thank you I have a roof over my head, etc.
I am not making light of what you have shared but there is someone who would love to trade places with you. What you are experiencing is temporary, it won't last. So don't make a permanent decision in a temporary place.
<mod edit - religion>
Dying or suicide is not an option. It does not solve your problems. You have to change your outlook on life. You are a young man and have so much to live for. Before you try loving another, first start loving yourself. When those thoughts come, you have to ask yourself where did that thought come from. You have to take unhealthy thoughts captive. Just as you control who comes into your house, you have the power to control unhealthy/negative thoughts. Have you tried speaking positive affirmations over yourself?
School wise I have failed a semester and even been on academic probation. It is not to late for you to get back in school. Find a subject that you want to study or that interest you. You may need to start with a class or two to get your confidence up or online classes, or a community college.
Have your parents you are a burden on them? Are those really your parents thoughts concerning you? If you are not disabled then you can find a job so that they are not taking care of you now that you are an adult. You have to work on your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence because if you don't and take that in a relationship that other person will fail you. You are responsible for your happiness. That woman could tell you she loves you and encourage you but you will find a way to beat yourself up or not believe her. It is important to go into a relationship as a whole person not a broken person. You have to focus on the positive things in your life and not the negative or the failures. Something as simple as saying thank you I'm alive, thank you I can walk, thank you I can talk, thank you I have a roof over my head, etc.
I am not making light of what you have shared but there is someone who would love to trade places with you. What you are experiencing is temporary, it won't last. So don't make a permanent decision in a temporary place.
<mod edit - religion>
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Hey there, you know man, there are a lot of people that feel this way at your age but I'll tell ya, don't go throwing your life out at this point. You're way too young for that. You've only just begun. Your parents aren't NEARLY as disappointed in your college experience as they would be if you killed yourself, you know? Come on. You're just getting to the good part of life. You've been letting everyone control you all this time and this is where you really start to live by your own rules and make your own decisions so get going. You can do this. There's no reason at all to kill yourself over a girl (!!) or school (!!). Seriously. Both of these are quickly and easily improved upon.
I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. Breakups can be hard. Please do not hurt yourself. No matter what you think your parents feel, they love you unconditionally. They may be upset with you, but they love you. As a survivor of suicide, trust me, hurting yourself is not the answer. Is there any way you could talk to your parents to let them know how you're feeling? Perhaps you can work together with them to figure out a way to get back to your studies. This is important for your future wife, children, and career. Even though it may not seem like it at this point, these feelings will not last forever. Remember that God loves you and you are never alone.
Heya @Abhiram, it's good to see you reaching out for support It sounds like you've had a really rough run recently 
What led up to this? Was she someone that was a good 'fit' for you? Do you see yourself ever getting back with her?
What were you studying? Was it something you enjoyed? Were you going to use it to further your career?
Having a break from study isn't all bad...
I get what that feels like my friend . I never really felt 'accepted' by my parents till last year when I turned 26...
Could you still achieve a degree if you were able to find some focus again?
This very dark time in your life is going to help you in untold ways over the next few years... Please please realise that we care about you and want to help and support you through the pressures you are facing.
Your life is not over... it is only just beginning! I really messed up my life from 16 to 26... and I'm only just starting to get it on the rails now... I turn 27 in a couple of months.
Everything you want from life will come! A wonderful wife, career, family...
A tall and grand structure or building must have a very deep and strong foundation... and while the pressure of dark times is very painful... we need to dig deep and compact our foundations very thoroughly if our building is to stand up to the rigours of life in later years.
Keep posting my friend, we care about you.
Warmest regards, Cody
It sounds like you've had a really rough run recently What led up to this? Was she someone that was a good 'fit' for you? Do you see yourself ever getting back with her?
What were you studying? Was it something you enjoyed? Were you going to use it to further your career?
Having a break from study isn't all bad...
I get what that feels like my friend . I never really felt 'accepted' by my parents till last year when I turned 26...Could you still achieve a degree if you were able to find some focus again?
This very dark time in your life is going to help you in untold ways over the next few years... Please please realise that we care about you and want to help and support you through the pressures you are facing.
Your life is not over... it is only just beginning! I really messed up my life from 16 to 26... and I'm only just starting to get it on the rails now... I turn 27 in a couple of months.
Everything you want from life will come! A wonderful wife, career, family...
A tall and grand structure or building must have a very deep and strong foundation... and while the pressure of dark times is very painful... we need to dig deep and compact our foundations very thoroughly if our building is to stand up to the rigours of life in later years.
Keep posting my friend, we care about you.
Warmest regards, Cody
I'm sorry Abhiram, it sounds like a very uncertain and stressful time for you. Life can feel so structured and rule-bound: go to uni, get a degree, find a partner, have a career, etc, that when you fall off that path it must feel like there is nowhere to go.
But everyone's path is different, and just because things might not go how you planned, doesn't mean they can't turn out just as wonderfully in the end! But I'm sure, right now, that must be very difficult to imagine.
Having to leave Uni must be one of the most difficult things a student can face. Do you think it would help to connect to other students who have been in your situation? You might be able to find some advice/solace from people who'v had the same experiences.
Best wishes Abhiram
But everyone's path is different, and just because things might not go how you planned, doesn't mean they can't turn out just as wonderfully in the end! But I'm sure, right now, that must be very difficult to imagine.
Having to leave Uni must be one of the most difficult things a student can face. Do you think it would help to connect to other students who have been in your situation? You might be able to find some advice/solace from people who'v had the same experiences.
Best wishes Abhiram
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