Hello again, My story starts when I was around three, my parents split up and I have never found out why. We (being my mother myself and brother) lived at our Grandmothers home and I have to say that it was her that raised us not mum, she always seemrd to be sick. Around 1960 my mum was placed in a mental institution and again at that time we did not know why. I moved to another city to get a job as there was no work where I was after leaving school, I lived in a bording house for the first year, then my mum moved there as well, it was then I found out why she was always sick, she was an alchoholic. She was a very hard person to live with but I could not afford to get my own place. I also noticed that whenever I brought a girl home, they never came back again because of mum, she use to tell them I was bad. The I met my first wife, we were married in 1969, and we got our own flat, so I was away from mum. I made a promise to myself that my kids would never have a life like I had, I lived to regret that promise. We had our first son in 1972, things were not to bad in those days, then in 1974 we had our daughter, she died when she was two months old, I found her and it was a sids death, my first wife has never cried from that day till this. In 1976 my mum died and it was from alcohol and prescription drugs. Things got pretty bad after that and we still had another son in 1976, however after that things did not improve and my wife left me in 1978. Well, there I was exactly where I did not want to be, and my two boys without a father, the ex made it very hard for me to see the boys and it really started to get to me, even though I talked to people about it and made out that I was alright, I really wasn't, I was getting worse as time went by. Then in 1979 I tried to suicide, I made a mess of it and spent some time in hospital, then when I got out I tried again this time trying to make sure no one knew what was happening. I didnt count on a friend seeing me walk home and saw that I did not look good so decided to come visit later that afternoon and found me, well, back to hospital, two of my best friends came and visited me and we talked about things for some time. Why did I do it? Well it wasn't because I didnt have friends or was lonely, it basically was because I felt a failure and nothing turned out right for me, everytime I tried to do something it went wrong or turned bad. After that, I spoke to a friend that was a methodist Minister, and he used to come and see me every saturday morning for about 6 months and we talked about anything and everything, but, through talking to him I decided I would never try it again and that I would live my life, come what may. thats it for the moment till I can write some more.