I guess some background first. I grew up alone, I mean totally alone. Didn't have any friends until I was 20. Always struggled to not be lonely. All that's kept me going has been massive willpower. (That's why what I write is going to sound cold and calculating, it's just who I am) I moved 2000 miles from home awhile ago to try and find better (liberal) surroundings and work. But it's not changing anything. My other half is sending money for me to live on, but they're slowly tiring of the drain. I haven't been able to find any contacts, much less any work. At the moment I just sit around and try to amuse myself. If I go out i'm always afraid to say anything to someone because i'm sure I look stupid. Nobody ever seems to take much interest in me. I don't drink, dance or do drugs. I've always been judgmental, and bore easily which aggravates the problem. There is a considerable sum on money in savings right now and the last move is to just transfer that over to my other half and say "I love you, have a nice life" and go remove myself from the problem. I can't stand dragging them down until they hate me for being a weight around their neck. It's this ongoing fight of willpower versus the uncaring world around me. Where "do you want to be my friend" is a point of ridicule rather than a request for help, and people only want friends around like themselves, without any issues. And i'm slowly losing.