My story...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Hurted, Feb 14, 2008.

  1. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    I will try to be short...

    I was never satisfied with my life...

    Until 2 years ago i was pretty happy... but just because i lived in my world, without touch of reallity... Movies, books, video games was all i was doing all days...everyday i was different person, a person from book or movie i was watching at the time... even when i didnt watch movies, i dreamt all the time about thing that were not true, but i wish that they would be... 2 YO i made a change... i work on my image and everything... but people didnt accept me good... they are making fun out of me etc... so i start dreaming again... this time i was in touch with reallity, i cryed a lot during this 1,5 year, but i still escape from reality with music... however, then it stop working... there was just too much things to escape from... not many friend, being in love with wrong person... i become depressed... i was depressed few times before, however this time was very severe...
    last days i feel better, i think that im not depressed anymore... but i am empty... i dont feel nothing... i am not sad, happy, nothing... I am hopeless... i cant concentrate, i have bad memory, i have even problem with writing this... In my 17 years i achieve nothing... Bad reputation, bad relationship, bad marks at school, addiction to cutting, ciggaretes, food, drinking.... I do cut even 4 or 5 times daily last month, just to feel something else than my boring life... I went to psihologyst, however, she is very busy so i will be able to see her only once every month... I dont know what to do and where to start... I think that i dont have personality, i cant be me when i go out... im always someone else, i think that even I dont know real me...
    I should stop writing now, i think that its very confusing...
     
  2. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    :hug: