My Story...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by painkiller182, Mar 11, 2008.

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  1. painkiller182

    painkiller182 New Member

    I've read many people's testimonies on this site, and it always cheered me up that I'm not alone.

    Anyways, I was in a real crisis back in 2005. At that time, I was out of school because I decided to play hookie and hang out with the wrong crowd because of all the problems I was facing. The way I wanted to die was to throw myself at the deep pond by the park (much like the title character in Robert Bresson's excellent film Mouchette). However, thanks to this site and the counseling of many people, I've been able to get through that ordeal.

    Now it's 2008, and I am in the middle of a new crisis. I've never felt this low at all before. I've had insomnia for about a year....I have these constant stomach problems (IBS probably), this is probably the most I've ever been depressed. I feel very lonely. I don't feel that I belong with my family anymore.....and starting college from a new place away from the friends I am used to.....is just lonely. Plus these embarrasing stomach problems....

    Sorry, If my writing is terrible, but this could most likely be the last time I ever typed before....
     
  2. Jess_21

    Jess_21 Active Member

    I am so sorry that you are going through a crisis again, i know how horrible it can be. Your writing is is no way terrible, sometimes its really hard to express how and what were feeling into words or coherent sentences. I am also like you feeling very lonely at the moment, i have started Uni and none of my friends go to it. It makes each day i need to go horrible. If you need to talk i am here, you can PM me if you want.
     
  3. miXXedUp

    miXXedUp Member

    I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time.

    Have you seen a doctor about your stomach problems? A doctor may be able to help you sort this out, which would be great. At least it would be one less thing to worry about. Also if you feel better physically, it will be much easier to start working on your depression. You could also ask the doctor about your insomnia, again they might be able to help. I know how awful it is, when you can't sleep. Again the utter exhaustion makes everything else so hard to deal with.

    There is nothing wrong with needing help and that is what your doctor is there for.
    Take good care
     
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