My story....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ConfidenceOfAll, Apr 14, 2008.

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  1. So ,I'm 14 now.When I was in a primary school,I was quite happy,had good contacts with the whole class.Then,in secondary school,everything changed of course.Our whole previous class got seperated,with only a few being in my class.Our class consisted of a few of my class,some people I knew for the previous school,and then the "'cool" group,as they refer themselves.Me,the idiot that I am ,tried to join this group because I thought they were cool.That was a mistake,obviously,they teased me and I was persistent.The first year I already had troubles with studying.In primary school,I didn't even do anything and still got about 90% .It was a whole change.I luckily passed that year.The second year was pretty much the same,but I had trouble with studying once again,and those same guys were in my class once again(I actually came back to my old friends from primary school. the second year,A wise decision).Around christmass my grades weren't looking good,so I really had to study to pass.I didn't,I had to redo a year or go to a other school.I chose to redo the year.It was terrible to make that decision.
    So I got in a new class,which was even worse.I had no friends in that year,except for my old friends(Who are in the third year now).The 'cool' guys threw lines at me like :
    "Hey [MyName],what's it like redoing a year"
    "You're really stupid,you're the only one who redid a year,retard"
    That last one really hurt me,the guy said that on the end of the day,I went home and cried on my bed.Out of rage I threw my school bag at the window.My mother talked to me and I got out of it,those people stoppped saying those things.My grades are better this year,but I have trouble dealing with social things,for example,I eat lunch with my friends from the third year usually,but tomorrow,they go on a trip,so I'm stuck with noone on a table ,seeing people laughing at me.I HATE THIS WORLD !Everyone is so ignorant and retarded(Referring to the pupils of the second year).Everyone doesn't have any emotions(so it seems),I'm not happy on this moment,high school has been(and still is) the most terrible period of my life.I just want to finish high school and get a job and be happy,but this is seriously not helping!I don't really want to live anymore,I have nothing to do that for.

    Greetings ,
    ConfidenceOfAll

     
  2. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Yeah im currently in highschool too and it is the worst place to be when you are an outcast and have little to no friends. Just keep holding on, 30 years from now youll think back and wont give a fuck about how many friends or how cool you were or werent back then but how your life is way better. I think of school as just some learning place, where i am not there to make friends or waste my time and get hurt. And after time you learn to be alone, it is not that hard, you just deal with it.
     
  3. MaidenFan

    MaidenFan Member

    Ya dude take it from me, high school ain't shit. I'm almost 23 now and trust me, I do not look back upon my high school experience fondly. I missed so many opportunities I can't even begin to count, and you know why? Because I was stuck in a similar mindset that you are. I know this will sound cliche but it's the truth: It doesn't matter one bit what other people think of you.

    Especially kids that are younger than you. Fuck em man, who cares that you gotta repeat, it doesn't mean your stupid. The whole educational system is messed up beyond belief and alot of people get screwed over because it's not tailored to meet their needs. It really is that simple.

    Ultimately the advice I want to give you is this: High School doesn't matter at all. Go in their everyday and do whatever you want to do, get whatever you want out of it, no more no less. What I'm beginning to learn more and more often is that everyone is fucked up in one way or another. Everyone is insecure and uncertain, different people just express it different ways. You're not stupid, you're not inferior, you're just you. I know it's difficult to figure out at times what that means, who you really are, but that's part of life. Everyday you're a different person, with different ideas, different wants, and a different outlook. So take a deep breath, a step back, and realize you rock man! You're fucking awesome, you're the coolest dude there is. The world is your playground, so just go and play and fuck the assholes that try to get in your way.
     
  4. Thanks for the nice replies...:smile:
    Ah,I have friends you know,I don't think I'm an outcast,I just have my own thoughts and sometimes I just need to be left.That opinion of you is the same as mine."Just some learning place" ,exactly,I am here to learn and get a good job later.When I thought about suicide yesterday,I don't today because of youre replies.I will keep up,thanks.:biggrin:

    Ya dude take it from me, high school ain't shit. I'm almost 23 now and trust me, I do not look back upon my high school experience fondly. I missed so many opportunities I can't even begin to count, and you know why? Because I was stuck in a similar mindset that you are. I know this will sound cliche but it's the truth: It doesn't matter one bit what other people think of you.

    Especially kids that are younger than you. Fuck em man, who cares that you gotta repeat, it doesn't mean your stupid. The whole educational system is messed up beyond belief and alot of people get screwed over because it's not tailored to meet their needs. It really is that simple.

    The teachers said I wasn't stupid also,I had a difficult period then (puberty:rolleyes:) and that was probably the cause of my bad grades.You know,I think I'm going to return to highschool after university,if I get there,as a teacher.Anyways ,thanks again .:cool:
     
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