Well where do I begin.. I'm 17, male and living in Ireland. I've thought about suicide for the last while because I'm just so lonely in my life and I feel like there's nothing going to be ahead for me. Growing up I wasn't always the most social one, somethings opting to stay inside and play video games while my other childhood friends stayed outside. I dunno, I guess I just preferred being alone as a child, I valued my alone time. But I'm afraid now I have too much of it. I'm stuck here in my room for sometimes a week at a time before I even step outside the door because I just don't feel like doing anything. I see what little friends I have now and again but it seems it isn't cheering me up. I don't feel like I have any real friends to confide in. I'm starting to have a particular dislike towards people nowadays. I've tried my best to make new friends and the ones I do make just fuck me over. I made friends with a girl back in October and she just became a total bitch to me while I was sick and stopped talking to me. Another girl I befriended shortly after stopped talking to me randomly after inviting me to go to the cinema for her birthday. I text her to get the times and she never responded, ever. Befriended a guy well before those two and he just turned out to be an ungrateful bastard who didn't really appreciate our friendship that much at all. Aside from friends, I've never stayed friends with any girlfriends I've had because they always just end up fucking me over too. Some even trying to have me beaten up because I defended myself after they spread lies about me and insulted me. And just recently I fell for a girl who is a good friend of mine with "commitment issues" who said she wasn't ready for a relationship yet, but now is seeing somebody she just met after telling me I'm an "amazing, funny and sweet guy" and that she'd only end up cheating on me if we were to be together. I know I'm only 17 and suicide might be a bit out of the way for the age I'm at, but I genuinely don't feel there's anything past today worth experiencing for me. I've had life experience. I've had relationships, I've been in love, I've experienced severe loss (Father died at 14). What the fuck else is there? Thanks for listening.