My story

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by anarulesmenow, Aug 10, 2008.

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  1. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    So on April 21st 2008 I took <mod edit: no details please>.I had it all planned out, I had the note ready but then one of my friends found the note before I wanted anyone to find it.She made me go to hospital which was a pretty scary experience. I think a part of me still wanted to live a little, as I was a bit scared and I went to hospital like she wanted me to.
    My blood pressure and heart beat nearly doubled, my temperature went up loads, i lost my appetite, i couldnt drink properly or go to the toilet for a few days, I got abdomen pains, My vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to be sick.I almost passed out but the hospital staff stopped me.
    It was one of the worst experiences ever and I have damaged my liver and kidneys from it.
    The sad thing is, the longing for death has never gone away and I'm afraid one day I might act upon that.
     
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Sorry you felt driven to do this. Can you tell us what brought you to this point?
     
  3. jamie20m

    jamie20m Well-Known Member

    Yes please say, it helps to talk/write/type.
     
  4. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    I've suffered with eating disorders for nearly 4 years,i've had depression for about 2 years and I suffer from anxiety disorders and it all just got too much.I didnt see anything to look forward to in life and death seemed so much easier because I was really in pain.
     
  5. Victori@

    Victori@ Well-Known Member

    I was in the hospital about 3 weeks ago. I was the most terrifiying thing I have ever put myself through! People just looked at me like a was an alien or something. I hope that you have pushed yourself so hard to get better, I hope you have done everything you can do and I hope you asked for help when you felt like it was just to much for you. You are still here and you a still here for a reason! Please try and figure out what it is your here for! I wish you all the best!! If you ever wanna chat about it send me a msg! Because ever since I came out of the hospital, I just havn't been the same!
    take care!

    Victoria
     
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are feeling so near the edge. That can be a very frightening place to exist. I am glad you are willing to except help. We are here to support you as well. You are not alone. :hug:
     
  7. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys,
    But i cant help wanting to do it again and im scared that because im so close to doing it and i cant get out of it
     
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't do it again! Your life is worth so much more than that. Fight as hard as you can. You can get out of it if you try really hard. Please don't give up. :hug:
     
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