My story

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mangopowerade, Dec 5, 2008.

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  1. mangopowerade

    mangopowerade Member

    Not that any of you care, because after all, when anyone reveals any personal information on the internet, they're either a child molester or an attention whore, right?

    Well, anyway.

    My name's Rob. I've only just begun suffering from serious thoughts of suicide in the past few days. A lifetime of keeping secrets has left me emotionally drained - I just can't hide it anymore, but I have to for fear of losing my livelihood. My family and "friends" don't understand my feelings anymore than the Vatican does. To them, suicide is something left to those kids that wear too much eyeshadow and listen to really crappy bands. Normal people don't even consider it.

    Well, I have, and I am.

    I've thought it over and I'm totally comfortable with the idea of death. I'll just cease to exist ... the ultimate solitude. Frankly, I used to be terrified by the idea, but the longer I've thought about it, the less scared I become. It would be a relief from the shame, frustration, and anger I feel on a daily basis. I'm ... just really tired, you know?

    Sorry for boring you, but I needed to vent.
  2. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    That's what they have therapists for, you tell them whatever you want, and 1) It's probably something they've already heard before and 2) they can help you with it.

    You don't need to hide anything from them, just don't express intent to harm others.

  3. mangopowerade

    mangopowerade Member

    Even if I could afford a therapist - it's not like they care any more than anyone else. They're just paid to be really good at pretending.
  4. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    That's very true, but you sounded like you needed someone to tell secrets to. It could help, but eh, it's a gamble. :wink:
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Rob, welcome to SF :welcome:

    This is the one place you can feel free to talk about your suicidal thoughts and feelings. No one is going to think your an attention whore or anything of the sort. Maybe you should seek professional help for your depression? counseling,medication..etc..Suicide isn't the answer. Things can get better but you have to put in the effort. What is making you so angry/frustrated? :hug:
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