I was fine, not great, but fine nonetheless, until about a couple of months ago. I was sort of seeing this girl with whom I work with. As it turns out, I was merely nothing more than her "crutch", so to speak. You see, she's married to an abusive asshole who treats her like shit. So she comes to me one night, pouring her heart out about how unhappy she is and tells me that she's interested in me. And so like the sucker that I am, I went for it and eventually I fell for her. To cut a long story short, she went back to the shit stain she calls a husband and to make it worse she kept it from me and continued to lead me on and make me cling to the false hope that she really wanted to be with me. To top it all off, I'm stuck at home supporting both parents, 2 sisters, whom one of them has a newborn, and I'm doing it all while working at fucking McDonald's. Needless to say, with rent, bills, gas prices, we're not making it on an income of just four-hundred dollars or less every two weeks. Which means I'll have to get a second job and I don't even have my own vehicle. When I needed someone most, the bitch goes and stabs me in the back. I'm losing weight as the result of not eating. Sometimes I go days without an ounce of sleep. I have no life, all I do is work and go home and get inebriated in some way or another. I'm sometimes unpleasant to be around as I tend to fly off the handle over minuscule, insignificant bullshit. I have friends, but yet still feel so alone. All this shit is taking it's toll on me and I don't feel like I'm strong enough to keep going on much longer. I've already made two attempts on my life in the past 8 weeks. The last time I got the brilliant idea to drink myself to death, only to wake up the next afternoon with a godawful hangover and a nasty cut across my eye of which I have no recollection of how I got it. I know there are folks out there who have it so much worse, and still I struggle with the urge to end my life, which in turn just makes me loathe myself even more. I'm sick of working my ass off to only have to give up my whole paycheck just to survive and not being able to keep a penny of it for myself. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. I'm sick of crying myself to sleep at nights(if I ever fall asleep, that is). I'm gradually growing sick of living altogether. I've come here because I do not wish to talk about this with my family and friends, and the anonymity of the internet makes it so much easier to unload. Can someone, anyone, help?