my story

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by FBD, Apr 29, 2010.

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  1. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    well, my last huge breakdown happened this past summer, it resulted in my only hospitalization after a suicide attempt...

    after a night of drinking with my friends, we were all at school (im in college) and my "friend" got mad at me and told me to go die in the woods, and i listened and tried to. i took a bunch of pills, i dont even know what they were i just looked in her desk and saw a bottle and took the entire thing, then went into the woods to wait for it to end...but it didnt

    911 ended up being called and i tried to refuse their help, but it didnt work and i was forced into the hospital where i was in the behavioral health unit for a week. as a result of this i did not get to present the research i had spent all summer working on, and was kicked out of housing for the remainder of the summer, and was once again threatened to be kicked out upon my arrival at school for the new semester.

    she also tried to get me kicked out of housing once more after that

    my "friend" stopped talking to me, and she has tried to make my life as miserable as possible since then, i even live with her and she doesnt acknowledge my existance, i feel bad because i tried and failed at her wish for me to not be here anymore, and i feel like im responsible for the entire event anyways, and im sure if you were to ask her she would say the same thing, o and she was well aware of my depression and past suicide attempts.

    i still kinda wish i had died that night, and made her happy and probably everyone else around me, i have a few people, but for the most part, im a ghost im not even sure if people see me as a person or just a thing thats there

    either way, i didnt go that night, that "friend" hates me and ignores my existance and probably hates the fact that i failed that night and living with her is awful...
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Why are you still living with this person? Is there no way to get away from her?
  3. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

  4. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    well theres 4 of us sharing the apartment, i suppose i could have moved out, but i felt like if i did the others would feel like i was abandoning them and i am stubborn and i dont wanna move i like the apartment so i figured i could just deal with it
  5. minime

    minime Well-Known Member

    Hi Coly. Thanks for sharing your story and I am very glad you survived and that I got to meet you here at SF. I am sorry that you have to live with an insensitive person. It is so difficult to exist in this world and have to deal with relationships and sucky people, right? But then again I could be sucky too :p he he...

    'Hope you are having a good day :)
  6. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    thanks! yeah people tennd to suck, it just happens, but then again i sure ive been insensitive too, im sure everyone has its just the magnitude of it that sucks...
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