I work for a popular magazine in england, Im a photographer. Over the years...I have seen things i wish i had not. Things that have made me cry, Hate life, Hate people. I have lost my faith in god. About a year ago a man broke into my house and forced me to watch him rape my wife. While i sat, with my hands tied to the corner post of my bed, i heard my wife crying. Right there...I wanted to die. After the man had raped my wife he came towards me and asked me where i kept my money. I told him my money was all on a bank card. He wouldnt beleive me. He walked towards my wife again. He turned her over so she was on her stomach. He held her head up so she was looking directly into my eyes. I kept telling her i was sorry..thats all i could say. She told me not to be sorry...that its not my fault. The man giggled to himself and slit my wifes kneck. He left her to die before my eyes. I pulled so hard on the bed post i broke bones in both my wrists. I was able to get my face inches from hers and say goodbye. Her last words where " dont be sad " 2 days after the incident i decided i would take my own life. I could not live with the pain it would bring every minute of the day. While i sat in my bathroom with a xx i had brought off the internet...i remembered my wifes last words. Why was i doing the oppposite to that? She told me not to be sad...and here i was...crying everyday...ready to take my own life. If she could see me...would she want me to take my own life... She would want me too be happy. To live full. Because if it was the other way round..i would. Committing suicide is a cowardly act. And im sorry if i offend anybody by saying that. I went through something which i dont think many people will experience. And im glad they wont. I am telling this story because i want people to know that...no matter how bad you have it...or how much it all hurts...you just have to be stronger.