My Story

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shunos1, Sep 24, 2010.

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  1. shunos1

    shunos1 New Member

    I work for a popular magazine in england, Im a photographer.

    Over the years...I have seen things i wish i had not. Things that have made me cry, Hate life, Hate people. I have lost my faith in god.

    About a year ago a man broke into my house and forced me to watch him rape my wife.

    While i sat, with my hands tied to the corner post of my bed, i heard my wife crying. Right there...I wanted to die.

    After the man had raped my wife he came towards me and asked me where i kept my money. I told him my money was all on a bank card. He wouldnt beleive me.

    He walked towards my wife again. He turned her over so she was on her stomach. He held her head up so she was looking directly into my eyes.

    I kept telling her i was sorry..thats all i could say. She told me not to be sorry...that its not my fault. The man giggled to himself and slit my wifes kneck. He left her to die before my eyes.

    I pulled so hard on the bed post i broke bones in both my wrists. I was able to get my face inches from hers and say goodbye.

    Her last words where " dont be sad "



    2 days after the incident i decided i would take my own life. I could not live with the pain it would bring every minute of the day.

    While i sat in my bathroom with a xx i had brought off the internet...i remembered my wifes last words.

    Why was i doing the oppposite to that? She told me not to be sad...and here i was...crying everyday...ready to take my own life. If she could see me...would she want me to take my own life...

    She would want me too be happy. To live full. Because if it was the other way round..i would.

    Committing suicide is a cowardly act. And im sorry if i offend anybody by saying that.

    I went through something which i dont think many people will experience. And im glad they wont.

    I am telling this story because i want people to know that...no matter how bad you have it...or how much it all hurts...you just have to be stronger.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 24, 2010
  2. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    I am sorry for what you have been through. You are one of the strongest persons I know. I hope they catch this monster and justice be done. Your words of wisdom that we should not hurt ourselves should be well heeded by those here who are in pain here. You are an example to us all on how to go on. Your wife must be one amazing lady to spend her last moments comforting you, when she was in such overwhelming pain.
    I can't say much to make you feel better, but I could say I respect you more than I can say. *hugs*
     
  3. change

    change Member

    I'm so sorry to read that, when did this happen?

    And you're entitled to your opinion and I'm not offended by your opinion.

    As you can probably tell, I'm not bothered whether people think it's a cowardly thing to do or not. I don't think it is to be honest.

    But it's good to see a bit of positivity at the end of your post, and I hope you keep heading in that direction.

    Have they caught the man who did this?
     
  4. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    I am stunned. I have tears in my eyes. they are tears of rage. WTF. I hope you got to the guy before the police did. i know i would. I am so so sorry for what you have been through. no one deserves what you and your wife have been through. you have my deepest sympathy. please feel free too pm me should you ever need to talk. failing that let me know where the guy is, even if it's prison and i'll try and have him done. I'm not without my contacts.
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    My G-d...your experience reminds me of the courage and grace expressed in some Holocaust literature...please continue to talk about how you have found any resolution...truly a saddening but remarkable story...J
     
  6. SCUK2009

    SCUK2009 Well-Known Member

    That was actually tough to read. I can't begin to imagine what that must have been like to go through :(
     
  7. Confused and Lost

    Confused and Lost Well-Known Member

    I felt the same. That was just woah Im so sorry for you to have gone throught that no one deserves that. Plus dude you are truely amazing to be so strong and i am sure your right your wife would want you not to be sad..

    Take care :) x
     
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Shunos. I'm so sorry for what happened to you and your wife at the hands of that monster. I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife. He had no reason to kill her, but he did just for his own sick pleasure. Too bad you didn't have a gun handy, or else you could have shot him and saved your wife, though the cops would probably charge you. I hope you can find the strength to carry on. :hug:
     
  9. Shezz

    Shezz Member

    Damn.

    Just....damn.

    That is gut-wrenching.

    I don't know what I would've done. This is heart-breaking, for you to lose your love like that.

    I hope the bastard's rotting in prison. Some people are sick.

    I understand that you think suicide is cowardly. A lot of people don't. The pain is just so hard that...

    I'm proud of you for being so strong. I hope to have that strength too. You are an inspiration...even though you go through such pain every day.

    I hope that you keep coming here and staying strong with us. We love you sweetie.

    Strength in numbers.

    :cazza:
     
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