My Story..

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by emoprincess, Nov 14, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. emoprincess

    emoprincess Well-Known Member

    This wasn't the first time I tried to kill myself. But my parents did know of my troubles.
    One night in Aug 07 I came home from my grandparents, xxxxx I can't as such remeber doing it. But I do have one short recolection, just before I blacked out.I felt calm. Happy. I was relieved. It was finally going to be over.

    I awoke to the sound of shouting. My mum ran up the stairs. I opened my eyes and I was on the floor. All I remember was confusion.Overwhelming pain. I couldn't feel my tounge. I felt sick and couldn't walk.I didn't know what had happened. After my mum rang the ambulance,my mum found my suicide note. She asked me what had happened. I said that I didn't know, but she didn't believe me. Then it hit me.Fuck.

    When I got into the ambulance, I was told my blood/oxygen level was 100%. I couldn't calm down. I was taken by wheelchair into the A&E. Full of drunk people and police. I was scared. Then my dad came. While I waite for the doctor,I pretended to be asleep. My mum and dad were beside me, reading my poems and songs. My mum took the book from me, I still haven't got it back. When the doctor came, I was told about my huge friction burn on my neck. It wrapped all the way around, and was about an inch in height, I still have some scars now. It was terrible to hide, especially as I was at school. Scarves were my only option. I was also told that i'd had a seizure, bit my tounge so hard that I couldn't feel it for 2 weeks, and that I was only a few seconds from death.

    I wish it had worked. Ever since i've carried on trying,and i've been self harming ALOT. Despite my anti-depressants...
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2010
  2. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Anti-depressants wont work for everyone. Have you tried some kind of therapy. Rather than treating the symptoms maybe you need to treat the cause. xxx
  3. emoprincess

    emoprincess Well-Known Member

    yes. I've had 3 different therapists,all before and during being on anti-depressants. Therapy isn't for me x
  4. Suizide

    Suizide Member

    Anti-depressants are not right for you. I've tried them and all they do is make me more insane. What you need is some self-determination! We all do! You need to tell yourself "you know what, I'm not as horrible as some other people I know" You write music? I play bass and LOVE music. Bury yourself in that instead of the ground. Take all that pain and tell it to kiss your arse. Write it all down and let it go. Go to the theatre by yourself, enjoy yourself, become your own best friend. Easier said than done but, it can be done. I hate my life right now and want to die, but there's that 10% of me that says "you're an idiot" and to just bite the bullet. Life is much harder for so many people man.
  5. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member

    Girl... you deserve better... harming and killing yourself is like punishing the wrong person...

    and the reason you felt calm is a common "illusion" because that one is close to a solution in combination with oxygenloss of the brain which can cause a mild euforic feeling, like strangel-sex kinda... Do the strangle-sex thing instead, also in my opinion, thats one of the "nice" way to take the bus to neverland...

    hope that things turn around before you turn over


Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.