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My story

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by pete, Jan 8, 2011.

  1. pete

    pete New Member

    Hello everyone,

    I'm new here. So let me just start of with a rant and tell my story.

    I'm 24 year old guy. I graduated from college two years ago. And i found out that its a bad, bad world out there. 2008 was quite a mixed year for me. I fell in love. I got my first job. But then things started to turn bad. Me and my girlfriend had to break up mutually due to some unavoidable reasons. And then the damn recession happened and i got laid off. And i'm struggling since then to get my life and career back on track. I lost my interest in working after that. So i decided to get a masters degree. I worked for a year over the entrance exams and got admitted to a few good universities. But as it always happens with me something had to got wrong and it didn't work out too.

    So here i am now. Its been 2 years since i left my job, hoping to find another one soon. Still living on my parents money. And its quite embarrassing and i absolutely hate it. I have always been an optimist. I always believed that i will have a good career and a successful life. But seeing the way things have gone for me over the last couple of years, my hopes are starting to dwindle.

    And to compound my problems i'm still in love. I'm still in touch with my ex. She's married now for more then a year. We talk very regularly. I cannot even think of not being in touch with her. And i can certainly say that she still loves me. But there's nothing we both can do about the situation.

    So, i'm constantly tormented with the thoughts about the failures i have encountered so far. My job, my career, the girl i'm in love with. There's absolutely no peace of mind. There are days when i'm very much depressed.
    My parents are telling me to join the family business. I cannot do that. I had dreams for myself. I'm sure i'll live my entire life in regret if i do that.

    I forgot to mention that i stammer. So i always had suicidal thoughts since i was a kid. They are more regular these days. Though i know that i can never do it. I would never want to hurt the people who care about me. But these thoughts scare me these days. I know that my problem may seem petty when compared to others. And i'm trying hard to deal with them.

    I apologize for such a long post. I do not know what i'm trying to do by telling my story here. Maybe its just another means of vending out my frustration. Another way to make myself heard and get some reassurances. Maybe to just know that i'm not the only one who has made mistakes and is a bit unlucky. Once again i apologize for the long post.
  2. ansdr

    ansdr Well-Known Member

    Hey I'm sorry about your situation. I'm glad to see i'm not the only one who's love life and economic situation is bad. The bad part is it seems alot of stuff is happening along with the recession which makes everything much harder. My life didn't turn out all how I thought it would either, the girl I care for doesn't even care about me at all anymore. And I couldn't find a job all year long. Sometimes I just walk around wondering things that I could of done differently. But all you can do is try your best at the end of the day. You can't be too hard on yourself for things that happened, and just hope things get better soon.

    You can always think of moving to a place where the job market is better, if your parents were willing to give you a little help.