My Story

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WH86, May 7, 2012.

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  1. WH86

    WH86 New Member

    Hi, I just discovered this forum and wanted to share my story.

    I've been depressed off and on since highschool. Mostly because I'm gay and hated myself for it. I have been hospitalized 3x in a psych ward. They diagnosed me as bipolar. Between manic episodes I get really depressed. Over the past year I've had more and more suicidal thoughts. It doesn't quite make sense to me because I have a wonderful boyfriend, friends and family. I have an addictive personality - everything from nicotine to booze and food. I have a hard time working. Part of it is the depression and loss of energy. I feel like I've become lazy and take advantage of my boyfriend. He works a lot more than I do and I feel bad that I'm not motivated to do anything. I just lay around all day. It's horrible. I'm doing nothing productive with my life. I feel like a loser.

    I want to have energy and excitement about life. I want to be spiritually enlightened and provide for my family. I'm seeking companionship and advice. I just want to feel complete.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi WH86 welcome to SF You are who you are hun do not hate yourself for that Booze well that is a depressant but you know that. If you are not on medication for depression maybe talk to your doctor okay and also hun get some therapy for you ok Therapy will help you change that self hatred of yourself Have you a medical lately sometimes iron can be low or your thyroid not working well these things can cause you to be very tired Please take time out to look after you okay get to your doctor get a medical done to rule out anything medically wrong with you Hugs
  3. Frenchie Gal

    Frenchie Gal Guest

    You need to do something for yourself. You need to set some sort of positive goal. It doesn't have to be huge, but has to mean something to you. I feel the same way without the nicotine and booze part, but they contribute to your capability of doing something meaningful. You need to search for something you enjoy or anything that gives you a positive emotion.
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    welcome to the forum.
  5. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    ...Maybe you could begin each day, right when you wake up in the morning, by stating two or three things about your self that you like: positive qualities!!! For example, here is what I would say, "I enjoy my great sense of comedic timing with friends; I have a natural talent for swimming the breaststroke (& have happily begun lap swimming again); I marvel at my very own problem-solving skills/technique/method...& that's all there is to it! Honestly, I had no idea that it would be this easy...Surely it is much, much, much easier to come up with a plethora of things that we dislike about our selves - but - we probably don't need any assistance in that area! :D
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