My suicide.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Edward Soto, Jul 13, 2010.

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  1. Edward Soto

    Edward Soto New Member

    Well everyone i suppose this is the begining of the end for me, life has been going on a downward slope ever since my girlfriend kayla unkowningly contracted aids and spread it to me. We have had an off and on relationship if only for the fact i cant get anyone else because everyone is disgusted by me. I have thoughts of expirementation with men and have trouble seeking council with anyone, even with god, Somhow i feel alone and left out of the loop of life. I write this as i stare down the <Mod Edit:Music:Methods>. I wonder what would happen if i pulled that little trigger, would it trigger events leading to my afterlife or leave me a vegetable? Only the dead may say. Seeing as this may be my final words i'd like to tell my mother to grow up, for having sex with a random mexican trucker and having the condum break. am i an accident? Should i even be here? Do i deserve to be here? I DONT FUCKING KNOW. Now i will continue to the will portion of this letter.
    To kayla, i leave my mangled corpse for you to bury wherever you please. And please, no necrophilia. I will have to say the thing i will miss most is gangbanging you with a group of illegals, nothing gave me more of a rush.
    And to my mother i leave my prized vibrator and dildo, as i know she will get much pleasure from this.
    To my father i leave the gun i used to kill myself in the hopes he will contemplate his fuckups and join me in the great beyond.
    To my sister i leave this , you may frame it and hang it wherever you want, i will try not to bloody it too much.
    To my secret boyfriend, we didnt have much but the love we had was uncomparable.
    I leave you my heart, in the hopes that you will remember the fun times, remember the brown taco? Oh lord. The memories.
    Farewell cruel unfaithful world.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 16, 2010
  2. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Edward, please dont do anything. please pray for help I am praying for you now. PLEASE God will help. Stop thinking about those things . You have been through so much ,have fought so hard dont give up noe. you are a champion dont quit you can win. I am here for you. Im so sorry about all the problems but that part of your life can be changed and a new happy life can be found. The medical treatment of aids so so much better now. People have had it for over 30 years and feel great. ALL the things that bother you can be fixed. Come here and be loved and cared for by us we all want to be your friend.PLEASE I BEGYOU STAY HERE. You will know a new love and hope with us. PLEASE I PRAY YOU DO

    Write me

  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Hello Ed,
    My best friend of 3yrs has AIDS, and to tell you the truth there is hope still. Please contact me, and we can chat. I do not judge you, or think you are anything but a human being like the rest of us. Blessings..
  4. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    You sound like you have a lot of anger towards the people in your life.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Ed. First of all, I'm sorry for all of the shitty things that have happened in your life, but please man, put down that ... and unload it. Please don't shoot yourself. It will traumatize them for the rest of their lives. Living with AIDS can be very tough, but if you have the proper medication, it can be managed. Please don't kill yourself Ed. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 14, 2010
  6. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member


    Please let us know how you are. You are in my prayers
  7. Heatdepot

    Heatdepot Member

    This guy is such a lying douchebag.

    Gangbanging his gf with bunch of illegals? Brown tacos? Necrophilia? Dildos for his mom?

    Come on.... so full of it.

  8. ballinluig

    ballinluig Well-Known Member

    Ed u there?
  9. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    I have a feeling Heatdepot is right. I wouldn't have put it that way but whatever. I didn't want to be the first to say it just in case.
  10. Teryan

    Teryan Active Member

    i may be swrong but headdepot might be right. i mean..i may be wrong, but brown taco might not be one of the last things that is reasonable to say
  11. Concave

    Concave Active Member

    I wasn't gonna say anything, but I 'm thinking the same as you.
  12. Concave

    Concave Active Member

    So what is it... thinking of experimentation w/ men, or have you been w/ men cause you said you had a secret bf. And on to the aids part... she unwillingly gave it to you, but you said you participated in a gang bang / a bunch of illegals? Seriously... this is a forum for people w/ problems who tend to be respectful of others and not make posts like yours. Have fun w/ your brown taco...:troll2:
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Let's hope that Ed is just making the whole thing up, since he only made one post after all. Let's hope that he isn't just a really, really messed up guy.
  14. NotThisLife

    NotThisLife Well-Known Member

    This is the type of attitude that chased me away from the only other forum I've been on. A couple of weeks after registering, I shared a personal detail about myself. I personal detail only my mom knows. I got accused of trolling. Not banned, just accused much like you are doing here. I left. It took great courage for me to open up, and when I did it got thrown back in my face.

    It does seem like an outlandish OP, I'll give you that. But I would like to remind everyone that sometimes outstanding circumstances do exist. Sometimes, it is sharing and not trolling. Like I said, seems outlandish; but I'll give the OP the benefit of the doubt.
  15. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Even if someone is lying maybe that in itself is a cry for help, and they should not be riducled for that, just a thought.
  16. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    How are you managing today Edward? I hope you're ok.
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