I am literally crying for answers, and how to go on. For the last 5 years I have taken care of my grandmother who is in bad health, and getting worse all the time. During this time I have lost many friends, because during this time is when my depression and wanting to die has happened. During this time I have not even had a job, I just went back to school. There is no emotional support from my mother who is just a depressive person herself. Every day is getting worse and worse. Today, first thing in the morning more bad news from my mother. Now more worry and it has got so bad that today I had a panic attack, and it was so bad I passed out. Mentally and physically I cannot take anymore of this. How can I leave, how can I change my life, what can I do to get out of this enviroment that is killing me.