My the heart wear out faster

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by aramaki, Nov 19, 2007.

  1. aramaki

    aramaki Active Member

    Longing for death but scared of suicide...

    I remember what Eleanor said in Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House - that she slept on the left hand side so her heart would wear out faster. I never understood this till now, and now this is totally how I feel.

    I long for a heart attack or something that may help me leave with honour...
  2. aramaki

    aramaki Active Member

    What keeps me going for now is the fear of what will happen to those who love me if i do end it all. And how it will make them feel. But I fear the final knock-out blow over the horizon.