I have no idea what to do, I feel so very alone. I am not a bad person at all but I can't seem to make friends, I think maybe I try too hard some times or maybe I am just not a very likeable person, I just don't know. When ever I am lonely I feel suicidal but have never done any thing other than just think about how I would do it but tonight I am sat here and I have crushed up a load of tablets and put them in a beer and wrote a note. I haven't drunk any yet and to be honest I am not 100% sure I will but this is the furthest I have got and it's scared me. I feel so lonely and unhappy in life and all I have ever wanted from life is the husband, kids and a nice house with a garden. It's a nice idea but these days its just not possible is it. I do know that things could change in a second but I feel some times that I have been waiting for this change for a very long time. The only reason I think I have been holding back on doing any thing silly is because of my mum and dad, if they weren't around then I'm sure I would have done it already. I know it is a selfish thing to think about but do I really want to go through each day hating life?