My thoughts

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Nothing_No-One, Dec 31, 2008.

  1. I have no idea what to do, I feel so very alone.

    I am not a bad person at all but I can't seem to make friends, I think maybe I try too hard some times or maybe I am just not a very likeable person, I just don't know.

    When ever I am lonely I feel suicidal but have never done any thing other than just think about how I would do it but tonight I am sat here and I have crushed up a load of tablets and put them in a beer and wrote a note.
    I haven't drunk any yet and to be honest I am not 100% sure I will but this is the furthest I have got and it's scared me.

    I feel so lonely and unhappy in life and all I have ever wanted from life is the husband, kids and a nice house with a garden. It's a nice idea but these days its just not possible is it.

    I do know that things could change in a second but I feel some times that I have been waiting for this change for a very long time.

    The only reason I think I have been holding back on doing any thing silly is because of my mum and dad, if they weren't around then I'm sure I would have done it already. I know it is a selfish thing to think about but do I really want to go through each day hating life?
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I know how you feel. I have been there :(
    Would you feel comfortable checking yourself into a hospital? Maybe it would be best for you. I've been twice when I really needed to be in one.
    I haven't seen you around here too much and I'd love to get to know you better. Please don't do anything.
    I am lonely too. Your dream still could happen.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    You arent alone,you have us :hug:

    Always here if you need to talk :)
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You can still pursue what you want.

    Also you will find people on this forum who are understanding and supportive, your not alone.
  5. I don't want to go to a hospital, I have been to the doctors and told him I felt suicidal but he wasn't worried, he didn't think I would do it. He just said to make another appointment in a couple of weeks to see how I felt.
    I didn't bother making another one, I don't feel that they can help.

    I am writing this so last night obviously didn't go to plan.
    I had about a 1/4 of the beer but it tasted disgusting and I was talking to a few people in the chat room, they said it wouldn't kill me so there is no point drinking any more. The only reason I stopped was because it wasn't going to kill me, though I wished it would have.
    There is just no easy way out is there :(

    It's the start of a new year aren't things meant to start going right, so far I haven't got out of bed and no one has text me asking how my night was or any thing, not that I went out but no one know's that.

    I hate feeling so alone :(
  6. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    I understand how you feel and i dont want you to feel this way any longer. :hug: any time you need someone to talk to or just someone to sound off to, pm me and i'll be there. I think i can safely say that goes for the majority of members here too :)
    Lea :cheekkiss:
  7. Colourful

    Colourful Well-Known Member

    Hey, you're not alone. I'm on the same boat as you.