The images are frozen. Only i can hurt myself, no one else can, only if i let them back inside me. So there is always a tomorrow, a chance for me to turn the new page, to like myself again. To forgive myself and those who have hurt me, and hope that they will forgive me the hurt i have caused them. I guess only by making the changes, learning from the mistakes i have made, is the only real way of seeking forgiveness and proving to myself that i can become the person i wish to be. Everyday i am tested, everyday the devil sits on my shoulder waiting for the chance to jump off and cause the pain that he so enjoys. Reeling in those negative emotions and holding them like reins in the journey of life is not easy. Whenever my grip loosens, i veer off the path and am choked by the uneven ground, but i can always take the control back, always. I came to this site a dead man walking, but have found solace, love, empathy and caring in a place where i only expected hate, anger and ending. I have no idea what is in store for me this coming year, much of the past i never wish to think of again, but there are good memories too. I know that this is a new time in my life, a fresh start, but guilt, rejection, lonliness and depression weigh heavily on me, bad memories tearing at my mind, blurring the images ahead. I feel like an island, clouded by grey fog, no boats or people, eachday the same, like something out of ground hog day, a forgotten island in a world populated by people who do not know me.