I did my trip to Vegas/Grand Canyon. Being on the Canyon I felt like I was away from the world. At peace with myself. But soon after I left vacation I was back to the same hellhole. I got no other reason to be here in this life. I sense my time is up soon. In some ways I wish it wasn't. But in some ways I wish it was. Im not getting whats due in life. And if I did get it at this point I am damaged goods.