My true love, Ellie

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by TheSorrow, Jul 3, 2010.

  1. TheSorrow

    TheSorrow New Member

    Hey. This is my first time using this website. I really need advice because me and my girlfriend are joining the air force when we are older and we had our lives perfectly planned out but we have hit some huge bumps in the road and we may have to be forced into splitting up... but I just cant bring myself to do it... She may have to leave the country to go to an air base and we will have to split up but... I just cant... I just cant do it.... everytime I even think about the day we split up I cry un-controllabley. I've finally found the women I want to marry and live my life with but the dream is hinging on pure luck. If we split up I seriously think i'm going to commit suicide. I can't live life without her. People say theres plenty of fish in the sea but I just cant find anyone else. If I lose her it will completely destroy me inside. I will never be the same again :cry:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 3, 2010
  2. Edgar Roni Figaro

    Edgar Roni Figaro Well-Known Member

    Hey sorry to hear about your dilemma but I can offer you some hope based on my own experiences. While you both serve, consider a long distance relationship. Though many people say they can't and don't work I am living proof they do. Me and my wife have been married for 5 years and together for 6. We met in an online dating site and she lived half way around the world from me. While we were working on immigration papers we spent a total of 1 and 1/2 years apart.

    Before I left her country after living with her and her family for 1 year we decided to get married to strengthen our relationship during the hard times to come.

    You should talk these things over with her and see how she feels about everything. If it turns out that you both do not believe you could endure being a part that long perhaps you could both find another career to go into so that you don't have to be apart. I wish you the best, suicide isn't going to make anything better, trust me I've tried twice, one putting me in the hospital for emergency surgery that left a 2 foot scar on my chest and stomach.

    There are many options to take in this situation, you should thoroughly examine all of them before turning to thoughts of suicide. I hope that things work out for you.
     
  3. TheSorrow

    TheSorrow New Member

    *Sigh* It doesn't matter anymore... she walked out on me... My time on this website has been short, I haven't had the chance to get to know people here... But unfortunately I must leave this website for good... I am leaving to kill myself... Goodbye to everyone on this website... I hope everyone here finds a better solution for their problems than what I have come up with... Hopefully I can find more peace in death than I have found in life, I will be handing my account over to a friend of mine who needs help too... Any questions about me then just ask him... Goodbye everyone.
     
  4. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    i really wish you'd stay, thesorrow. i know things seem bleak now, but it can get better. and sf is always here to help you cope in the meantime. take care.
     
  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I have to say that anytime you put another imperfect human on a pedestal you are going to be let down. Use this time to discover who you are, and after that you can find someone who fits perfectly with you. I used to rate my worth by the people I dated, it always ended up bad. Lemme tell you it did a number on my self-esteem something fierce. Now that I have discovered who I am, I can rely on me, and not them. If they did not like me oh well, because I am who I am, and I took the time to figure out who that is, so that I can share it with someone special. relationships come and go. You should be your main focus, it will pay off in the end. Trust me. There is someone out there just for you. I was blessed with my soul mate at age 23. Everyone is different. Blessings..:hugs: Hang in there!
     
  6. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    Hey, if you haven't done it yet and by chance come back to visit this site - there is still hope yet!

    There's a guy who writes this newsletter who helps those who are basically 'losers in love'. His name is David DeAngelo and I have found a lot of his advice to be helpful.

    A lot of guys lose the girls they love because they act too needy or pathetic. But if you are strong and confident and basically act more 'powerful' than the girls you're with they will never leave you.

    Men often lose women because they allow women to have power over them.

    Have a read of this and let me know what you think, see if it identifies with your situation at all:

    "The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Women" And What To Do About It..."

    Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes...

    MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much of A "Nice" Guy
    Have you ever noticed that the really
    attractive women never seem to be attracted to
    "nice" guys?
    Of course you have.
    Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive
    female friends that always seemed to date
    "jerks"... but for some reason they were never
    romantically interested in YOU.
    What's going on here?
    It's actually very simple...
    Women don't base their choices of men on how
    "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do
    because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION
    for them.
    And guess what?
    Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that
    powerful ATTRACTION.
    And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.
    I realize that this doesn't make a lot of
    logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET
    OVER IT.
    Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on
    it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that
    you want.

    MISTAKE #2: Trying To "Convince" Her To Like You
    What do most guys do when they meet a woman
    that they REALLY like... but she's just not
    interested?
    Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel
    differently.
    Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER
    CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO
    ATTRACTION!
    Never, ever, EVER.
    You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently
    about you with "logic and reasoning".
    Think about it.
    If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in
    the world do you expect to change that FEELING by
    being "reasonable" with her?
    But we all do it.
    When a woman just isn't interested, we beg,
    plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
    Bad idea. One that will never work.

    MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or
    Permission
    In our desire to please women (which we
    mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys
    are always doing things to get a woman's
    "approval" or "permission".
    Another HORRIBLE idea.
    Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men
    who kiss up to them... EVER.
    Don't get me wrong here.
    You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to
    like you.
    But if you think that treating a woman well
    means "always getting her approval and permission
    for things", think again.
    You will never succeed by looking for approval.
    Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their
    approval.
    Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if
    Wussy guys who chase her around and want her
    approval annoy her...

    MISTAKE #4: Trying To "Buy" Her Affection With
    Food And Gifts
    How many times have you taken a woman out to a
    nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had
    her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her
    even HALF as well as you did?
    If you're like me, then you've had it happen a
    LOT.
    Well guess what?
    It's only NATURAL when this happens...
    That's right, I said NATURAL.
    When you do these things, you send a clear
    message:
    "I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so
    I'm going to try to buy your attention and
    affection".
    Your good intentions usually come across to
    women as over-compensation for insecurity, and
    weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I
    said that women see this as MANIPULATION.

    MISTAKE #5: Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In
    The Relationship With Her
    Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most
    men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too
    early on.
    Attractive women are rare.
    And they get a LOT of attention from men.
    Most men don't realize this, but attractive
    women are being approached in one way or another
    ALL THE TIME by men.
    An attractive woman is often approached several
    times a DAY by men who are interested. This
    translate into dozens of times per week, and often
    HUNDREDS of times per month.
    And guess what?
    Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of
    men.
    That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
    They know what to expect.
    And one thing that turns an attractive women
    off and sends her running away faster than just
    about anything is a guy who starts saying "You
    know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two
    dates.
    This signals to the woman that you're just like
    all the other guys who fall for her too fast...
    and can't control themselves.
    Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
    There's a much better way...

    MISTAKE #6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For
    Women
    Women are VERY different from men when it comes
    to ATTRACTION.
    You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
    When a man sees a beautiful woman
    he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.
    But does the same apply for women?
    Do women feel sexual attraction to men based
    mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
    Well, after studying this topic for over five
    full years now, I can tell you that women usually
    have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by
    things OTHER than looks.
    Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more
    average and unattractive men with beautiful women
    than the other way around?
    Think about it.
    Women are more attracted to certain qualities
    in men... and they're more attracted to the way a man
    makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone.
    If you know how to use your body language and
    communication correctly, you can make women feel
    the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you
    that YOU feel when you see a beautiful young
    woman.
    But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how
    to do this.
    And ANY guy can learn how...

    MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
    One of the most common mistakes that guys make
    is giving up before they've even gotten started...
    because they think that attractive women are only
    interested in men who have looks and money... or
    guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a
    certain age.
    And sure, there are some women who are only
    interested in these things.
    But MOST women are far more interested in a
    man's personality than his wallet or his looks.
    There are personality traits that attract women
    like a magnet...
    And if you learn what they are and how to use
    them, YOU can be one of these guys.
    YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just
    because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.
    Let me say this again: If you know how to use
    your body language and communication correctly,
    you can make women feel the same kind of powerful
    sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you
    see a hot, sexy young woman.

    MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
    Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look
    to a woman for approval or permission.
    Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys
    use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.
    Said differently, guys try to get women to like
    them by doing whatever the woman wants.
    Another bad idea...
    Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can
    walk all over... Women aren't attracted to
    Wussies!

    MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each
    Type Of Situation With Women
    Now I'm going to blow your mind...
    A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking.
    Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than
    men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES.
    I know, it might be hard to believe. But for
    example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and
    you want to kiss her, she knows it.
    And if you don't know exactly what to do and
    exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there
    looking at her and getting nervous, she won't
    help!
    And this goes for ALL aspects of women and
    dating...
    Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking
    her out, kissing her, getting physical...
    everything.
    If you don't know what to do in each situation,
    you will probably screw it up... and LOSE
    EVERYTHING.
    And you KNOW it.
    It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY
    how to go from one step to the next with a
    woman... from the first meeting, all the way to
    the bedroom.

    MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
    This is the biggest mistake of all.
    This is the mistake that keeps most men from
    EVER having the kind of success with women that
    they truly want.
    I know, guys don't like to make themselves look
    weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.
    Hey, I've been there myself.
    Let me tell you a little about me and how I
    figured out how to be successful with women...
    About five years ago I became fed up with the
    fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and
    get dates with women that I was attracted to.
    It frustrated the hell out of me.
    One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a
    woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get
    up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that
    night... right on the spot I made the decision to
    do whatever it took to learn how to be successful
    with women and dating.
    Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all
    kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all
    out.
    I can now approach just about any woman and get
    her number almost instantly. I've dated models,
    I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal,
    regular girls as well.
    It has been a very rewarding experience. I no
    longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I
    don't know how to meet women... and I might wind
    up alone.
    I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and
    meet attractive women.
    I've written a book on the topic, and I've done
    seminars on both coasts of the United States...
    and taught tens of thousands of men all around the
    world.