I have been depressed since I was 15 years old. I tried to kill myself when I was 16 - I took many anti-psychotic pills and almost died. I wish I had. I realised that I have been living my whole life for other people - I have to live to look after my family; I'm the only one who can care for my sister. But now that I'm 27, my family has disowned me (when I rejected Christianity in favour of agnosticism) and now my Christian sister who I quit work 4 years ago to look after, has left me. She knewI was depressed and she knew I had no one else - yet she lied (claimed I was abusing her) so she could get out quickly and get free accommodation in an 'emergency placement' house (for people who are abused). She even called the cops and tried to have me involuntarily committed! She has destroyed my reputation around town - and now no one who knows us both will give me the time of day or even look at me, because they think I was beating her every day. This is NOT true! The truth of the matter is that (she didn't tell me this I worked it out), she does not forgive me for what happened to our dog on the 27th December, 2008. He was killed by Pitbulls (a neighbours) and I was the one who let my dogs out that morning (as I do every morning) but it just so happened that my idiot neighbour did not secure his dangerous dogs in his property, and my dog was killed. I fell back into a deep depression because I feel so guilty- and that is when my sister started threatening to move out ("if you don't cheer up I'm leaving") but then she pretended everything was fine and was organizing the whole time to move out behind my back. So now I am alone, depressed, jobless (I was a full time carer for her), moneyless - the only thing I have are my 2 dogs - they are 13 & 9 years old - so it is only a matter of time before I lose them too. I have no friends and no family. I almost killed myself when my dog died - but like a fool I was worried that my sister would have to find me and I did not want that so somehow I got through it; but when one of my dogs dies, there will be nothing to help me from ending it (if I don't do it before that). My whole life is pointless - I realised I do not want to achieve anything for myself in life and the last piece of faith I had in humanity walked out the door with my sister. Why do those who treat people the worst (usually the religious IMO) get everything they want in life - and people like us, who put others first, always get a kick in the face as a reward. To make matters worse, my sister comes over every day as if nothing has happened. Why doesn't she just leave me alone and never come back? I think she is coming to check if I've carked it yet so she can come take my stuff....there is no other reason why she would be coming over. I am just so tired and I do not want this life I am thankful to find this place - most other places I only find religious people who want to convert me to their religion (I"m an Atheist) - actually I had an upsetting email exchange with a fundy on this forum so I am wary about engaging in PM or email contact now. Sorry my story is so jumbled - I stopped taking my anti-depressants because they weren't helping so I am having some withdrawal.