I have thought long and hard about it, and I decided that when I have enough money, I will do it. I know it may be long and painful but it also a shame that I was born looking the way I am. I don't call myself ugly as I don't see ugliness in the mirror, and it just so painful for me to go into detail of why I feel I am ugly. But it more than I look horribly weird, my face structure is cricket, and it seem GOD or whoever he is did not finish his job. Simply put I look like shit, I don't look Asian, I don't look Black, I don't look Hispanic, I don't look white, basically I don't look human. And what worry me is that with this current look, I won't be able to have a girlfriend nor will I find confidence when i'm around people. The lies goes on in my family. I once again told them about how i can't smile and basically show them yet they still refuse to say that anything is wrong with me, and that they say I'm perfectly fine and even go as far as saying I am handsome, but the truth can't be any farther away. I am absolutely sick of my family playing with my mind. I had it, it over. I can see why I was made fun off since grade school and being constantly bully for look weird, and now that I see myself I don't blame them. Even my far off friend made fun of me, and said hey don't take it seriously. But I do and it so painful getting out of bed and facing people. I don't how people judge me, but I am scare shit less. And people say well you know you got to deal with it because it your face, but I don't think anyone understand the severity of what I look like, and I still shock at what I look like. It horrible to not be able to smile, so much worst that I don't even look right. Maybe the only fear I have now is my family opinion, and they screw me up so badly that it so hard. But I can't live like this, deep down they have no idea what I suffer on a daily basis, and it to the point that I have to use sleeping pill so that beside doing homework I waste the day so that I don't feel miserable. I don't why I look like this nor do I know why I have SA and can't smile and was bully constantly, ridicule, hated on, excluded, made rumor on? But all I know is GOD hates me, he a bitch, and that he is also the devil. And I do I am a mistake no matter how much you guys say it isn't, and it hurt.