My Uncle Passed away

[White Dove]

My Uncle passed away this morning at 1:10 am Orlando time..

I got word he was really bad off the other day and prayed all day and all last night but now he is gone..

The Lord has taken him from me.. It seems the Lord hates me.. He takes everything away from me that i love so much..

He has taken my mom when i was 15..

He has taken my friends ..

He has taken those that i really cared for ( the daltons ) away from me.. they were like parents to me , yet he took them and their love away from me.

He took my best boyfriend i ever had away from me by a drunk driver..

He took my friend from school away from me.

Then others say God loves me , well he doesnt.. he allowed me to have cancer.. he just does not love me..

no one loves me.

I miss you Austin... I really do miss you..

but for me i will be joining you this sunday my dear beloved ....

Seems everytime i try to do something to end my life i get a big blow back at me that keeps me from fulfilling it..

I will fulfill it this sunday for sure now..

i have lost everything.. i mean everything that has ever mattered to me is now gone...

My Aunt linda , She is in so much pain as losing him has hurt her deeply.. he was her soul mate...

She tried to get him up here for burial which is what he wanted but she can not afford to bring him up to tennessee to bury him beside his mom so she has to cremate him in Orlando with plans on bringing his ashes up in october to bury him here then ( or rather his ashes ) I love you Linda and you will be in my heart all night long.

I will be joining you Austin as soon as sunday rolls around.. I miss you and im hurting so badly now.. i just wish that things would have went better for me but they havent.. my time on this earth has been one heartache upon another... I will see you soon Austin dear.. I will see you soon... :hug:

 

[Esmeralda]

:hug: I am so, so sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say can make the pain any less. But I really want you to hang in there. I lost my father at 15, and I believe that God takes us when we are done with this life, when we have learned what we needed to from this life. It is not for us to decide when we are done, sweetie. Please try to be strong...I am so very sorry.

 

[ShalenaM]

My Uncle passed away this morning at 1:10 am Orlando time..

I got word he was really bad off the other day and prayed all day and all last night but now he is gone..

The Lord has taken him from me.. It seems the Lord hates me.. He takes everything away from me that i love so much..

He has taken my mom when i was 15..

He has taken my friends ..

He has taken those that i really cared for ( the daltons ) away from me.. they were like parents to me , yet he took them and their love away from me.

He took my best boyfriend i ever had away from me by a drunk driver..

He took my friend from school away from me.

Then others say God loves me , well he doesnt.. he allowed me to have cancer.. he just does not love me..

no one loves me.

I miss you Austin... I really do miss you..

but for me i will be joining you this sunday my dear beloved ....

Seems everytime i try to do something to end my life i get a big blow back at me that keeps me from fulfilling it..

I will fulfill it this sunday for sure now..

i have lost everything.. i mean everything that has ever mattered to me is now gone...

My Aunt linda , She is in so much pain as losing him has hurt her deeply.. he was her soul mate...

She tried to get him up here for burial which is what he wanted but she can not afford to bring him up to tennessee to bury him beside his mom so she has to cremate him in Orlando with plans on bringing his ashes up in october to bury him here then ( or rather his ashes ) I love you Linda and you will be in my heart all night long.

I will be joining you Austin as soon as sunday rolls around.. I miss you and im hurting so badly now.. i just wish that things would have went better for me but they havent.. my time on this earth has been one heartache upon another... I will see you soon Austin dear.. I will see you soon... :hug:

My sweety WhiteDove, God doesn't take anyone from you, the devil put cancer here on earth..Your Uncle is in a much better place..I wanna go to heaven to..so this Sunday, I will commit suicide I hope God forgives me by some chance..

 

[White Dove]

:hug: I am so, so sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say can make the pain any less. But I really want you to hang in there. I lost my father at 15, and I believe that God takes us when we are done with this life, when we have learned what we needed to from this life. It is not for us to decide when we are done, sweetie. Please try to be strong...I am so very sorry.

Peanut , it is so hard for me to stay here , it is so hard for me to keep trying..

seems everything always goes so wrong for me , and i hate it.

i hate this cancer.

i hate losing someone i cared for a lot..

it just hurts so much right now and i dont want to say too much cause everyone is gonna think i am wanting attention or something , but they dont know how much i am hurting..

peanut , would you like me to send you a photo of me and austin? it was taken this year back in april... you can see me in it and then you will have a face to go along with my name.. i can send it back by email to the email you sent me, and i did get it ( your email ) i just was praying so hard that he would at least make it till christmas but he didnt..

 

[White Dove]

My sweety WhiteDove, God doesn't take anyone from you, the devil put cancer here on earth..Your Uncle is in a much better place..I wanna go to heaven to..so this Sunday, I will commit suicide I hope God forgives me by some chance..

please dont do it...

you have so much to live for..

i on the other hand dont cause i am dying anyway..

i will have more pain , a harder physical pain if i stay , i cant battle both of these pains , i just cant..

so please dont go???

 

[White Dove]

Peanut , it is so hard for me to stay here , it is so hard for me to keep trying..

seems everything always goes so wrong for me , and i hate it.

i hate this cancer.

i hate losing someone i cared for a lot..

it just hurts so much right now and i dont want to say too much cause everyone is gonna think i am wanting attention or something , but they dont know how much i am hurting..

peanut , would you like me to send you a photo of me and austin? it was taken this year back in april... you can see me in it and then you will have a face to go along with my name.. i can send it back by email to the email you sent me, and i did get it ( your email ) i just was praying so hard that he would at least make it till christmas but he didnt..

The photo was taken of us back last year in july..

have not developed those taken this year of us together..

please forgive me for saying it was taken this april... my memory is not as good as it used to be..?

 

[Esmeralda]

I would LOVE to see your picture, and I can send you one of me as well if you like...you are after all, a great friend of mine...I hope you know that.

I know you feel drained, and F those who say you are just attention seeking...sorry, I'm being bad

I know you hurt, but you are so strong and God is with you, even though it seems lonely right now. :hug: I'm glad you got my email, because I was so worried about you.

 

[White Dove]

I would LOVE to see your picture, and I can send you one of me as well if you like...you are after all, a great friend of mine...I hope you know that.

I know you feel drained, and F those who say you are just attention seeking...sorry, I'm being bad

I know you hurt, but you are so strong and God is with you, even though it seems lonely right now. :hug: I'm glad you got my email, because I was so worried about you.

you have an email peanut.

i think the photo may still be upside down???? peter tried to fix it for me but i dont know how to save it after he put it upright , but hope im not too scary looking?

i miss him so much..

i have really cried a lot these past few hours