My understanding of love (or so I thought)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by dizgrace, Mar 7, 2013.

  1. dizgrace

    dizgrace Member

    Love is not raping someone against their will
    Love is not cheating on someone you're meant to care about
    Love is not hitting someone or pushing them down staircases when you can't get your own way
    Love is not holding them hostage so a passer-by has to restrain them so you can get away
    Love is not having to call the police because you can't feel any lower than how they make you feel as they scream at you in the street
    Love is not screaming at someone that you want them to die after they are recovering from a serious surgery
    Love is not leaving them because a better offer popped up and you're standing in the way
    Love is not swearing at someone all the time, thinking using them as an emotional punching bag won't hurt
    Love is not making them feel crap for trying to better their life and moving to Uni
    Love is not grabbing hold of them so they can't leave
    Love is not making them feel invisible unless you're suddenly horny and then remember I'm here
    Love is not using someone so you can sleep better at night
    Love is not making someone feel second best to everything. I don't mind being second best to something on occasions , I get if you're busy or have work to do sometimes, as long as I don't feel second best as you do it. Tell me you care instead of just brushing me aside.

    Looking at this list...yeah it's got to be something about me. There is no way I can feel this crap and have all of this happen to me without me deserving it in some way. I just wish I didn't, and I wish people thought the same about me too
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    you don't deserve this - no one does

    the issue isn't you, it's that the person doing this thinks it's acceptable to treat you that way

    it sounds like it's time for you to make a choice - you should not have to put up with this - at all
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    You aren't the one with the issue, and you certainly don't deserve any of this treatment. Every time I got treated badly by someone, I started to blame myself for it, because it happened so often. But then I thought, if I don't let it happen, if I stand up for myself...then I don't have to deal with it anymore. Realize that you better than all of this abuse and mistreatment. You are a good person and you deserve to be in a great and healthy relationship. Please don't put the blame on yourself...there's a lot of cruel people out there, who will sometimes take advantage of those they consider "weak" or easy to manipulate. Demand to be shown respect and not let others treat you this way anymore.
  4. zaneknight

    zaneknight Active Member

    Love isn't any of that, isn't anything near that. And just because people around you are hurting you doesn't mean you are the fault. How can you be? YOU'RE the one hurting, not them. They're the ones causing the pain in the first place! It's not your fault for wanting love, I feel that constantly. As does EVERYONE. It's not your fault for getting hurt, not your fault for their stupid actions.

    But if you're in a relationship right now, where you're getting hurt, then you DO need to get away from that pain. It's your responsibility to stick up for yourself, and to care about you, like Witty said. It's your life, and you deserve better. So first things first, make sure you're safe. That's most important. Then you can focus on helping yourself mentally, alright? I'm sorry you're in a tough place right now, but you've got to stay strong. People here can help you, but you're the only one who makes decisions in your life. So stay safe, okay?
  5. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I know about some of this and the others you've kept quite secret, but you're away from it now. Don't let people bully you Grace, it's not worth it at all. If something doesn't feel right, then do something about it, or talk to someone about it and when I say talk to someone I don't mean hide all the details. You have me and Jade who both of us will happily (for want of a better word) talk things through with you.

    We know you're having a rubbish time at the moment but we can't do anything about it or help you when you don't talk to us. We most certainly won't start a conversation about it because that's an invasion of your privacy without your permission. You know you can always talk to me at any time because my sleeping pattern is effed up as it is!
  6. dizgrace

    dizgrace Member

    Haha thanks Beka I know I can always talk to you about anything, and I do with the serious stuff. I just needed to vent this and it was silly XD