My username explains it all

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Heretohelpafriend, May 8, 2009.

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  1. Heretohelpafriend

    Heretohelpafriend New Member

    I'm going to be blunt here... a friend of mine has often expressed suicidal feeling, but only ever to one person. Not me, but someone else close to them. I have recently been told by my friend, however I have known for a while because the person close to them always tells me, and I always do what I can to help. My friend has recently expressed to me how they wish the other person didn't "overreact" because "[they] should know by now that a) [my friend's] too scared to hurt [themself] and b) that [my friend] always overreact to everything anyway." So I keep telling myself these two things that my friend has said about themself when my friend has these thoughts... but in the back of my mind I know my friend needs help, my friend just can't seek it because of circumstances beyond my friend's control.

    The thoughts don't occur often and when they do happen, it is usually only a short burst that quickly dissipates into feelings of disgust for have ever thought that...

    If my post is confusing, please ask me to elaborate. I tried to omit pronouns on purpose to remain as anonymous as possible.

    And the reason it is in this subforum is because my friend is having suicidal thoughts again. I just don't know what I can do.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm glad that you are seeking all the info and help you can. Your friend says he/she cant hurt themselves or overreacts. That the thoughts keep reoccuring is in itself a red flag that says your friend needs help. And one day he/she just may be able to hurt themself or worse. Could your friend get into some sort of support group for people that suffer different mental health issues because they most certainly do discuss suicide and the thoughts of. They can also give you info on resources that your friend may not be aware of. Dont give up on your friend there is so much that you can do to help. But please dont believe the things he/she says. I think it is being said to try and convince you that things aren't so bad. Or to "distract" you into a false sense of things being good. But they can get worse so please try and help your friend as much as you can.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    If you think your friend is that suicidal then you need to talk her/him into going to the hospital and ask for someone in mental health..Sounds to me like this is a cry for help..She/ he needs the help of a professional.. If she/he won't go to the hospital then at least try to get her/him to see a therapist..Or as Itmahanh said try getting her/him to join a support group.. You can find out about them by contacting the hospital..Take care!!
  4. DiscoverPeaceOfMind

    DiscoverPeaceOfMind Active Member

    Be subtle....get them a copy of Think and Grow Rich.
    Ask gently leading questions...give a little bit of yourself to get a lot from them.
  5. dreamachine

    dreamachine Active Member

    ok i'm a little confused, so to clarify it i'm going to give names (you = Bob, suicidal person = John, other friend = Jane)

    so john is suicidal and usually tells jane about it. jane goes to bob and bob does what he can to help, even though john is unaware of it. now john has gone directly to bob, unaware that jane already has told bob everything, and john complains that jane overreacts when he becomes suicidal since he probably won't actually hurt himself. and now you are in a tough spot because you KNOW john needs help, despite the fact that jane is a natural overreactor.

    is this correct?

    i guess you have to work on explaining to john why jane might be so upset and why it might seem like an overreaction. i doubt she is really overreacting, though, because this is his LIFE and if she's the only person he goes to when he's suicidal, can't he see the pressure he's putting on her? i know how he feels and how things might seem like an overreaction, but i guess he has to put himself in her shoes. tell him to imagine it reversed. if jane were the suicidal one and he is the only one she goes to. if she did kill herself, wouldn't he feel a huge amount of guilt because he was the only one who could have known to stop it? its not fair to do that to someone, and he needs to realize the impact of his feelings on her.

    anyway, i also often feel like i wont do anything to myself despite how much i want to because of the fear of it, but like it has been said, these thoughts build and i think if i was in the right situation with a method at hand, i could very well do it, and i think so could john. he does need professional help, and even if he does never kill himself, he shouldn't have to live feeling suicidal for the rest of his natural life, too. please encourage him to seek professional help, and maybe if he can get into some therapy he could even bring jane (and you, if its appropriate) to help him learn his full impact on her.
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