I will try to be as short as possible, english isn't my main language so sorry about that. First reason why I hate myself is because I'm tall and skinny, this might sound strange to some people, but i hate my shape of the body, I've joined gym recently, but I'm not doing so well for now. Second reason is that I don't have friends. I finished primary school i didn't have much friends there, now I go to high school, I will meet new people but I don't really like meeting new friends because I don't trust anyone, well maybe there will be someone who will understand me, maybe, or maybe not. Family isn't perfect either, I don't have siblings, my dad works at night so he is angry sometimes if he doesn't get enough sleep. Third reason is that I live in old house, almost farm, I don't even have my own room even tho I'm 15, there is no living room, just kitchen, place with computer where I am right now, toilet and sleeping room. Next one, fourth already huh, health. I need to go to opeartion on 22nd of July they will cut out 2 small bumps one on neck and one on leg. I've never had an opeartion so I'm scared a little bit. I've spotted black-purple and red-brown colors on my toenails, I don't know what they are, maybe blood but it doesn't hurt, I will see if it disappears, as the toenail gets bigger it looks like i will be able to cut it off. Whatever I'm also lover of sugar, I don't have diabetis yet but I will maybe get it if i continue like this. Last, but not the least about love. Yeah I'm young, but I never felt in love until now, sounds good, but it isn't becuase I'm 99% sure the girl I like will reject me. I know everybody says if you don't try nothing will happen, but she didn't even accept my facebook friend reqeust after weeks of waiting. We don't even know each other much. I really like evrything about her and that gives me even biggest pain when I know I'll just be able to dream to be with her. Thanks for listening to my story, I'm still smart enough to not do suicide, but I ask myself a lot of times why I'm even living here. By the way I don't have religion so please don't comment with things such as 'god will help you', 'I pray for you' I just get angry. Thanks again.