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my very last post

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by An Angel in Black, Feb 11, 2008.

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  1. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    dear the members of suicide forums;
    i have to leave this place, i just have to. since coming here i suddenly didnt feel so alone anymore, i felt like i wasnt a freak. ive planned my suicide, although im trying like hell to tell myself not to go through with it. my problem is i see everyone i make friends with dead or going to die, and i cant take it anymore. ive had the last straw, and i dont want to see another of my dear friends even attempt it. i still think im kinda weird, just because friendship means so much more to me than it does most poeple, i treasure my friends, i think because i have so few. :unsure: everyone here is so special, yet i continue to see one person after another leave..and its very painful to watch. ive fought for all of my friends because i love them, and dont want to see them go, and im sorry for my selfish acts, but damnit i need my friends, more so than anythign else. :sad: im sorry but i must leave this place, as i cannot bear to se another friend kill themselves. im sorry i just cant go on. thank you for all of those who have been there for me.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't go Angel. I promised Agnes that I would keep you safe before she left. I know that Valentine's Day is coming and you were planning on ending it on that special day. Please don't do it Angel. You're such a good friend to people who are in pain and just need someone to talk to. It hurts me too to see my SF friends in so much pain and I wish that I could do more for them. I hope that you reconsider Angel, but if your mind is made up (as Agnes's was), then plese know that I've enjoyed your friendship and that you've really helped people here.
  3. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry to hear this is your last post, you should do whats right in this situation. you say your very selfish but i don't think you would of found this place and made so many posts if that were the case.

    i've lost friends before, some because we couldn't stand each other anymore and some because we were just clashing at points of our life, but then, i've seen those friends again when i thought that they didn't care when, really they did.

    some changes are for the best, as meager humans we can get attached to one person, and when it goes wrong we naturally want to fix it with that person because no-one else can make us feel that way again, but there's always another person, who we can get used to for different reasons i guess

    i do hope you post again.

    oh, i just listened to one of your songs in your sig


    its pretty good, never heard of them before
  4. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    i dont want to go though is the thing, im telling myself however hard it is things will get better, and im gonna fight the urge to do so as hard as i can. i just have such a hard time facing the fact im alone, but i dont feel alone here, but then the poeple i love i cant stop them from slipping away and it hurts so bad...-_- i just dont know how i should feel any longer
  5. sithspit

    sithspit Well-Known Member

    Angel, you are not being selfish. You are being smart. This forum is all about helping people survive, and if surviving means leaving it, then that's what you must do. You clealry will be missed, but those people will much rather you be alive than dead. If this helps you live, then so be it, but make sure you do live. This place will always be here for you to come back to, should things get rough. But if you die, then that's it. Your name may be angel, but this world will be better having you walk upon it than looking down onto it.
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    i am sorry to see you struggling so much Angel. I am glad that you have the desire to continue living. Don't give up on yourself. You have to do what is the best thing for you. If that means walking away from the forum for a short time, or even one of permanence, then that is what you should do.The most important thing is that you stay safe. Remember that you are always welcome back here should you decide to rejoin us. Take care. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2008
  7. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    thank you sketches, youre words are so true, after i lost agnes i didnt think id make another friend like the ones i have now, i guess humanity will find a way to carry on, but i cant take back the friends ive lost and it hurts...
  8. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Awww... I love you so much, my Angel. :hug:

    Take care of yourself!!!! :)
  9. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    :hug: hun if you need to take a break or leave the forum to make u feel better then do what make u feel safe hun :hug:
  10. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Angel it is going to be a little emptier here if you leave. But you have to do what is necessary to keep strong and survive. It is painful to loose friends and know they will never be there for you again. But by sharing with me, you made another. And others have cared and helped you too. So you have many friends. Please never ever feel like you dont. But angel, you have to realize that people are individuals. And what ever they may decided to do is not directed at you personally. It hurts like Hell, but they do and did what was best for them sweetie. Just like it is for you right now. You are struggling with a heavy decision but no matter what the outcome, I will always be your friend. No matter what you decide I know in my heart that you are doing what is best for you. Please please keep safe. You are a wonderful person angel and the world needs as many angels as it can get. It is rare in todays society to find people that treasure friends the way you do. I wish more did. Hurry back when and if you need to. I'll miss you!!
  11. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    usahana, im not really sure how to respond to that.....just know that whatever happens my love goes out to you sweety..ok? i really hope you change your mind though..i love you sweety, i hope you know that..
  12. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    thank you danni
  13. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    itmahanh, ive come to know you so well, and im amazed at how strong you are. i wish i could be like you, you are such a wonderful person, inside and out. i really dont know how you do it. life has already kicked me off my feet. lol and here you are, still standing. please take care of yourself sweety, i hope you do, i really do. because you are one of the most amazing poeple ive ever come to know, and it woul dkill me if i knew something were to happen to you. please take care of yourself.. i love you and will miss you very much..*****************HUGS***************
  14. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    thank you all of my friends, i cannot thank you enough for the love youve shown me..thank you so much..
  15. Mortem

    Mortem Well-Known Member

    "An early morning, february 2008, I really want to write something for him but I dunno what.

    The last days I've been pondering whether it was such a good thing for him to come here, considering the latest turbulence. I guess it's both good and bad, he seems to have no regrets about it tho, and that's what matters."

    You're a fantastic person Angel, and gawd I hope you decide to keep on struggling. The world needs people like you, warm people.
    May it be an hour or 10 years from now you'll always be welcome here, no matter what happens. :smile:
  16. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    You have made me so happy. No matter what I do I need you to know that. You and me are just a like. lol. I just... I want you to be happy. Hold on as long as you can, sweetie. :)
  17. Zodi

    Zodi Anitiquities Friend

    I don't know you at all but from what I have read, you are a kind, compassionate person. Everyone is lucky to have you around. I would give anything to have a love such as yourself.
  18. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    That was so beautifully said and so true indeed. Please stay safe Angel.
  19. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    thank you so much^_^
  20. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    Im going to try and be safe, i have a plan to get everything in my life in working order agian, and it all rests upon a simple yes or no answer this thursday..so everyone i ask that you please pray i will get this job.. it may turn my whole life aorund..please..once agian i thank everyone, ive never been around so many good poeple at once..thank you all so much^_^
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