My View On Suicide And Depression In General.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Noir, Apr 12, 2009.

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  1. Noir

    Noir Active Member

    OK, well, I have suffered from depression for 5 years or so, but I find myself improving and I'm a lot more happier nowadays.
    The thing is, it occurred to me how the problems I've been though ARE things that I can let go of easily, well, for example, my parents split up four years ago and that's what triggered my "depression" because things changed so drastically especially when we started off as a happy family, but now I'm starting to think, "Hmm.. my parents WERE in an arranged marriage, you can't blame them when one day, they decided to split up, arranged marriages do not work most of the time anyway." and maybe they just wanted to be happy, and I guess splitting up was for the best, at the end of the day, as long as my parents were happy, I guess I should be happy too, and then from that thought, I've managed to understand that sometimes relationships in general don't really work, partners come and go, that's the reality of it, sure there are strong relationships out there, and people have managed to stay together forever, but we're all human beings, I know that sometimes people get hurt in a relationship especially after a break up, but honestly, we all have to accept whatever happens and accept that nothing in life is ever perfect, we go through ups and downs in general. I suppose that I can also add that even if a break up hurts so much, just remember that killing yourself over a guy or girl is just pointless.. I guess I could say that "There's nothing more better than the unconditional love of friends and family, friends and family will always be in life when people walk out." I'm not trying to say that the love between a husband and wife is nothing special, I'm just trying to say that even if things didn't work out with your partner.. you should always remember that no matter what, you will always have your friends and family there by your side, only they are the ones that will never walk out of your life, so it's important to cherish your relationships with other people as well as cherishing the relationship you have with your husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend.
    Another thing I can talk about is when my Dad died three years ago of cancer, I still grieve about him, but thinking about him so much more somehow made me realise, "I shouldn't be so depressed, my Dad wanted me to be happy, even though he's not around, I still feel that he would want me to be strong and live on, death is not the end, because I know that after my time is done, I'd get to see my Dad again in another place." I am not over him, I do miss him, but I've always reminded myself lately that I should pick myself up off of the ground, he's taught me so much about life, I shouldn't give up and just always remember the things he's told me, and use it to help myself live on, be strong and handle any obstacles that head my way. To me personally, grieving is just missing someone who isn't around so much it hurts, but in the end, you eventually move on with the thought that you will one day see them again.
    My whole point is, I agree that things DO happen for a reason generally speaking, and I've come to a conclusion that I shouldn't see anything as problems anymore, but as a challenge, I am aware that people on this forum may not agree with me, but I thought that maybe if I put forward my thoughts, it can help others think more about things. Some people say that God hates them because he's constantly giving them problems in life, but what if he didn't hate you? What if he was just testing you to see how you can fight back? At the end of the day, that's the whole point about living this life, sure facing so many problems is enough to want to kill yourself, but would you let them win and take over you?
    With every problem, there will always be a solution anyway, which reminds me, I should add in the famous quote, "Suicide is a permanent solution to something so temporary and small." Is it really worth it?
    Life isn't just about fun and laughter, there are also the bad times. I believe that the more problems you face, the more it'll just make you stronger if you don't give in, and just hang in there.
    Most of you may think, "Oh this girl can't talk, she most probably don't understand what it's like to be REALLY depressed." But guys, I've been depressed for 5 years, attempted suicide (which failed), have seen two different counselors, and I've been through other major problems in life before that I didn't mention on here which were extremely bad.
    But hey, I'm thankful that my suicide attempts have failed and I've managed to improve on myself with the whole feeling depressed thing. Not only did thinking of everything help me decide to stay strong and hang in there for a bit more longer, but I've managed to find so many things to live for.
    My friends are always there for me, hanging out with them is enough to help me cheer up, whenever I'm down, they're there for me to talk to. My Mom and my sister are the only family I have left, I've decided to not end my life in this way, my Mom has been through so much already especially, a separation with my Dad and has lost him a year later due to cancer, I know she wouldn't want to lose me either, I know how much she actually loves and cares for me. My sister I must stay for, because she's still growing up, she would need me there for her, I'm the eldest sister and she looks up to me, not only will I always tell her to work hard in school, but I'll make sure that I will guide her through life and see her walk the right path. I have already willingly accepted this role, and wish to help people bring out the best in themselves. (If anyone on here wants to talk, send me a PM and I shall send you all my e-mail).
    In conclusion, to me, suicide and depression does not exist.. depression is something that can easily be cured if you are willing to help yourself, and suicide can be prevented if you stay strong. I've changed my ways, and as I've said, you shouldn't see things as problems but as a challenge, don't let them beat you down. If I can do it, I believe that you can too.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2009
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I'm glad you are finding solutions to your problems, but I disagree about depression.

    It is not usually just situational, a person can be depressed without any real problems or challenges.

    So in that regard it wouldn't just be easily cured, and if it is it's not depression.
  3. Noir

    Noir Active Member

    You didn't have to agree anyway.
    Well, depression can be either Psychological or Physiological, I can understand your view, since depression can sometimes be genetic or it just happens, but then again, all in all, suicide's not the option. It may be hard to cure, wasn't saying it was easy, but I believe people still can get by it. If it's a genetic thing, then that's a different story I guess. I was talking more about the emotional side of depression, and in a way, I was basically just talking about people who are going through things I went through, I've met a load of people on SF that have been going through a lot of problems that are making them feel this way, and obviously I have no experience or understanding about depression being caused without problems happening etc which is why I didn't mention anything about that. Other than that, I hear people take medication for it. But I suppose it's about time people helped each other out, encouraging and having faith in them is a start.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2009
  4. nowill2live85

    nowill2live85 New Member

    it's a common view about depression that everything happens for a reason and i tend to agree with that assertion. but what about a mother that looses her husband and son in a car accident and she never recovers from the depression from that? what are you suppose to tell her? I mean what possible reason or good could come out of that tragedy?

    and for people like me that were born deformed and have to be ridiculed every single moment of our lives by cruel people because of our difference? what do you tell someone like that. what's the grand plan or good outcome of that suffering?
  5. Noir

    Noir Active Member

    There is no reason to hang onto that depression since you will not find a good outcome from that anyway, it's not easy but she would obviously have to go through counseling, or whatever because it's natural she's grieving, so I can't be the one to say, "Hey, forget about it, you'll move on." People grieve when they lose loved ones, they can grieve for either a short time or long time, but most of the time, they get through it, it's up to them to decide what they want to do with their lives, so it's not my place to tell people what to do, I've only come to point out that giving up is just a sign of weakness at the end of the day. I've lost a Dad, the only person in the family I was close with, and yes, it hurts like Hell, it's been three years since he died and I still grieve, but even though he's not here anymore, I know he would want me to live on, and not give up, he left me money for my future and I've used that for my education, and knowing that he's still around even if I can't see, hear or talk to him, he's there watching me succeed in life, I can already tell that if my suicide attempts DID work, he'll be disappointed in me when he put all his faith into me, and because of him putting the faith in me, I'm still here, despite what I go through. This Mother you come up with that has lost a husband and son in a car crash can grieve all she wants, but she should know that she should live on for them since that's the right thing to do.

    For the second part I would say why do you give a damn about what people think about you anyway? The more you let the negative comments in, the more it'll bring you down even more. Why do you like to class yourself as "different" when at the end of the day, everyone is still the same, we're all human beings, no one is perfect, deformed or not, you're lucky you have a life so hold on to it, I can't say much but that's more important than anything else right now. So you say you're suffering? You're not the only one, I get all these people telling me to fight the pain every single day of my life no matter what, and everyone is always there for me, even though it's so hard for them to take care of me. I used to tell them fighting isn't worth it, that there was no point in life, just like you, I was thinking I didn't belong here because I'm "different" because of my illness, and wanted to just end it all. But going back to the part I said born deformed or not, at least you're living on.. people like me? Who knows what will happen, I may have a future or I may not have a future, but I don't think about that, the main thing is that I'm still here. But I know now that I shouldn't give up and live my life to the full before my time on Earth is up. And again, I didn't say there would be something good that would come out of the suffering you're going through, I'm sorry to hear about you, but now I can ask what's the good outcome of you giving up? You'll hurt your family, maybe even put them through depression, especially your friends, people that care about you?

    So in general, nothing good will ever come out of these kinds of situations, but that doesn't mean things are impossible. People MAY think it's impossible to try and look for something to hold onto, but it actually isn't if you think positive. At the end of the day, it's all up to you guys anyway. I still believe depression can be helped, this is MY opinion, but obviously everyone has their own opinions and I can't do nothing about that.
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