In 1984, I made a vow to myself after a failed suicide attempt, I gave myself ten years to kill myself. Its 2020, so that vow never happened but I live my life thinking that I will eventually kill myself. I wont take that job because Im going to kill myself, Im not going to work out because I will eventually kill myself. Topic, after topic, the underlying thought in my mindis that I will kill myself. (My last attempt was in 1989) so there's no reason for me to think it will happen but I still hang on to it and I sabotage myself.
I need an 'a ha' moment perhaps that will get me out of this mindset that suicide is an eventuality for me and help me to live my life without that thought. Its ruined my life. (Ive allowed it to ruin my life)
I deal with continual suicide thinking, fyi
Thank you
I need an 'a ha' moment perhaps that will get me out of this mindset that suicide is an eventuality for me and help me to live my life without that thought. Its ruined my life. (Ive allowed it to ruin my life)
I deal with continual suicide thinking, fyi
Thank you