My weight.....please help?? anyone?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Petal, Apr 5, 2015.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    My weight is bringing my mood down severely and making me feel worthless and fat and ugly, I'm about 17 1/2 stone in weight. I am going to ask the doctor if I can get a gastric band as I am not able to lose weight properly myself(that is how much it's bothering me). I know what you're thinking, that I am a fat lazy slob. I guess I am. I cannot stand to look into the mirror. I went to a diet club from january-march and lost 11lbs but it is so difficult to do it. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can feel better in the mean time about my weight. I feel so ugly I cannot stand it. I feel like I don't wanna go outside :(

    I have 3 sisters, all skinny as rakes, its so embarrassing to be this size.
  2. Linny

    Linny Active Member

    Hellu Petal! I understand how your weight can make you feel horrible. Same here. However, there are a lot of ways you can feel better without really having to lift many fingers, cut out foods, or put pressure on yourself negatively. You're such a good person that I wish this were enough to help you. I used to counsel a girl at my school who wanted to lose weight and while she lost it gradually, she didn't mind the pace because of the uplifting part of the ideas.

    It's all about hobbies and what you love.I can tell you love SF so get on here and grab your chance! Reverse psychology is always the best way to do this. Tell yourself, well if it's skinny that I want to be, I have to look at it from a different angle. It's not about skinny or weight. It's about seeing.

    Would you like my suggestions? They're a bit excessive and they play to tastes such as writing, planning, organizing, and keeping it all in front of you. I know some people don't like this method because they feel like it's surrounding them and it could potentially worsen anxiety, so I won't help if you don't like reminds, journals, and calendars. But if this doesn't bother you and you like pen and paper, hear me out! I know my way is similar to others that people may have tried but mine is borderline brainwash and 100% 1 on 1 with yourself and communicating like you're another person (this is mostly due because I talk to myself through notes and find it could help others rather than have the melicious connotations that I have myself)
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    You aren't fat, lazy, ugly, a slob, or anything else bad just because you can't lose weight easily. It can be difficult to do, and there is no shame in asking for help if you feel you can't do it on your own. Whether you decide to go with the gastric bypass or continue to try and lose it on your own, I wish you the best of luck, and know you can do it. :)
  4. AmeliaS.

    AmeliaS. Member

    Dude, same age, same weight. I struggle with it too, but it's mostly the anxiety about how others will see me. You're not a bad person for being heavier than some other people. In fact, I know that you're a good person by just seeing the good that you do on this forum. Validation helps, but it isn't a permanent solution to negative self image. It's hard, but what my counselors and people have recommended is for me to look at your self, really look into your eyes,and see yourself for all the good that you are. Write positive thoughts on your mirror. Give self affirmation for even the smallest of things. Whatever you do, don't put yourself down. You are your best friend, don't be a jerk to them. You can be any shape or size, but you can only be content with your body if you accept it for what it is: Beautiful no matter what.
    I hope that this is more helpful than cheesy. Let me know if you want to chat. :)
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Petal, it does not matter how you look and please remember that. The beauty of a person is within and a lot of people would agree with that. People can look beautiful on the outside but what's inside that counts. You are a great person and there is no need for this gastric band talk. Be happy, it's about eating sensible stuff and sticking to a daily routine. You can do it.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you all for your lovely responses. Beauty is from within but for me I need to feel good about myself on the outside too. It's not healthy for me to be this weight either. Einstein's theory of insanity was doing the same thing every day and expecting different results so I do need to change my daily routine but like I said it is so difficult.
    To be honest when I was skinny I wasn't happy either. I need to lose a few stone for my health at least. I bought a treadmill last week but I can't stay on it long enough because i'm so unfit. I'm not going back to the diet class 'cos while it's alright, the medications I am on is the problem. Zyprexa makes me ravenous and before that it was seroquel that did.
  7. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Petal, you are an amazing person and you are doing such a good job at the moment :hug: 11 pounds in 3 months is something to be proud of. Don't think too much about your overall weight or ideal weight level for now, keep going with these increments and you will be where you want to be in no time :)
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you so much. But I have to make changes fast. A while back when I was going out with my ex I was walking with him into tesco's (supermarket) and a security guard said the pizzas are on offer, I was so humiliated, I wanted to knock him for six but for once I just kept walking. Very surprised my bf didn't knock him out....I put this weight on fairly quickly, the stretch marks are gone so that is a plus. But starting tomorrow i am a girl on a mission :sadbear:

    I was very thin before I was started on psychiatric meds, I literally had a problem and was told I needed to gain weight, i gained too frricken much.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2015
  9. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    That is completely disgusting and horrible. If I was there I would have knocked him for six (cricket reference?) myself. But you moved on and showed you were the better person :)

    I hope your mission goes well! Keep a diary on here so I can root for you everyday. I start up again tomorrow, maybe we could keep a diary each and help each other through it?

    P.s. My fitness pal are really great for keeping a diary or counting calories and macros, not sure if you're planning to do that as well, but its a nice website if you choose to :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2015
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thanks cicada, I will keep a diary here and we can support each other....yeah what that security guard said hurt, what an asshat. I am reducing carbs considerably, will be eating lots of protein, veggies and fruit.
  11. Jabez

    Jabez Well-Known Member

    Be gentle with yourself, Petal. You do amazing stuff here for others, and have heaps going on. It's really hard to stay on track for long term loss of large amounts of weight (I don't get pounds and ounces, but I gather you have a lot to lose?). i have gained and lost weight throughout my life, from clinically underweight to morbidly obese and back several times. Currently on the obese end of the swing. It's not fun! But it is worth hanging in there and doing it steadily.
    In the meantime can you afford to shop for something that helps you feel pretty and special while you keep working on your weight? A new outfit or piece of jewellery can work wonders if you can spare the cash. Or a non food treat to yourself, like seeing a movie, or a nice perfume, or a massage, or...? Im sorry, I don't really know what you are in to. But something that makes you feel good, and reminding yourself that you deserve it! If you feel a bit happier in yourself it will show on your face and in how you stand. People often think I've lost weight when I haven't if they see me when I'm having a good day and feeling happier about myself...
  12. dax

    dax Well-Known Member

    Petal over the years I've gained weight on the meds and it has been difficult to lose the weight, I was off meds for 4 years and still found it difficult to lose the weight. I would recommend doing a combination of weight training and aerobic exercise to help lose the weight and see if switching your meds were possible. You dont have to be super athletic.....just build up to it. When I had monies, I found circuit training very helpful to me. I've been doing a better job of watching what I'm eating and cut alot of sugar out of my diet and lost 2 libs already. I still need to lose 16 lbs though. I hope you make your goal of losing the weight you want to lose, hang in there. *hug
  13. Miss Invisible

    Miss Invisible Active Member

    As everyone has mentioned, You are an Amazing person! Your words of kindness radiate a sense of warmth of a true beauty.
    Weight loss struggles I understand. We all have levels of comfortability and know when we reach them. I see many real life sides of weight loss struggles. I don't know if it will help but I'll share them with you.
    My sister was overweight her whole life but after personal issues she joined a gym and has been working with a trainer dropping massive amounts of weight with exercise and a strict diet. I wish I could do the same but we are different people with different capabilities. I struggle with weight gained from medications and lack of exercise due to severe anxiety. I'm about 20-30 lbs overweight and hate looking in the mirror or finding clothes to wear for the day. I recently decided to buy a home gym, (total gym) and start a new plan, not to be skinny just healthy. I am trying a vitamin, shake, energy patch combo program along with exercise I like to do. I'd never heard of it before but am curious, it is said to help improve sleep (i have insomnia), help fight depression (this too), and combat anxiety (also). It is supposed to increase energy so exercise is routine and once you're up & moving you tire your body out for the evening to sleep naturally. It increases serotonin and helps with appetite suppression. There's also no cutting out of foods, just moderation and drinking plenty of water. I'm hopeful but not dependent upon this working.
    You also mentioned gastric band surgery, I have a friend who had this done and completely regrets it. While it can be a wonderful procedure for some there are risks. My friend was not able to maintain the very small portion low fat diet long after surgery. She did not train herself to eat properly and fully commit to the surgery. She had major complications and has been in and out of hospitals ever since the procedure, two years ago. It is a major surgery that is life changing one way or the other so you have to be ready to fully commit. Before her procedure was approved she went through a year of doctor ordered weight loss tests and psych screens. Her current weight is under 100lbs and she is 35 years old 5'4.
    Weight is an issue no matter how you look at it, but it can be a positive in your life by turning it around from needing to lose weight to be accepted into just getting healthy and caring about yourself, not what others think. Tough one, I know..I'm working on it too.
    If you need a health buddy to chat with, I'm a great listener.
  14. Dark

    Dark Active Member

    I'm not sure if this'll work for you but it worked out well for me. I used to be overweight too and lost a lot by having a private "one-on-one" physiotherapist plan. You will most likely have to pay extra costs for it, but it's well worth it, if you find a good one. I find doing this is more effective than a group, as they focus on your recovery specifically and monitor you alone.So it's tailored towards your goal and weight loss. My physio even gave me a diet plan and exercises to do at home. I lost over 20 kgs in about 2 months doing this.

    I felt a lot more motivated to go, as they booked some sessions so it felt more "official" and only missed one. And they were very encouraging and supportive in their words and methods. I did my "homework" at home too, which was the hard part, but manged to get through it. As for the feeling of your weight now, have you tried positive affirmations? I've heard it scientifically works, but it takes time for your unconscious mind to pick it up. Write down something like "I will lose weight in the near future and eat healthy" or something like that, but keep it realistic. Then you repeat this to yourself 1-2 times a day and hopefully it'll sink in. Hope this helps you somewhat at least.
  15. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Similar... Ive never weighed this much in my life.. And the fibro isn't helping me when i am in so much pain every day. My doc suggested bicycles cuz less weight on the joints since for me my lower back and ankles are worst. Water therapy ive tried too but was too embarrassed cuz im so much younger then most ppl there... Wish u luck.
  16. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Before you consider major surgery, which is not to be taken lightly at all especially if you are less than 100 pounds overweight, do consider weight loss aides, such as a product called Alli or Belvique, also something more natural like hydroxycitrus acid or garcinia cambogia extract from a fruit that prevents the absorption of fat and suppresses appetite with a boost of serotonin. Ask your doctor about it and how they could affect your psych meds.

    And you also can find a dance class nearby or something fun to move your body. Its very hard to stick with diets, but you can eat the same food without dieting, just in smaller portions, and exercise; lift weights because muscle burns fat.

    Exercise makes your booty pert, your thighs thick, and arms strong and cut on the side, very long and feminine, and an hourglass figure if you do enough squats and pushups. It also helps your endurance and stamina which improves your breathing and how long you can last in physical activity without tiring out. You can diet all you want but unless youre using your body how its built to be used, you will not be fit. The heart is a muscle, to improve its health you have to get up and move even if it means just walking around the park for an hour a few times a week. Treadmills suck.

    Good luck! You can do this!
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 9, 2015
  17. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I don't think people realise how dangerous gastric bands and bypasses can be. It is major life changing surgery and you have to be on baby food for a long, long time, sometimes for life. If meds are what is causing you to be ravenous it will be even dangerous to have a band because you will still constantly have that urge to eat so you may cause it to perforate. Okay you may lose weight but it is dangerous and a significant life style change. It's much better and safer to do it naturally. I also struggle with my weight yoyoing especially after taking anti psychotics. I've lessened my portions and just significantly reduced the crap I ate. If you get cravings from the meds, replace sugary/carb food with something more healthy. I wouldn't even suggest fruit as it's still full of sugar. I tend to go for yoghurts or breakfast biscuits.
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I asked my pharmacist about the gastric band and she said there's not a chance in hell I'd get it, she said there are too many risks involved and that I am not heavy enough to get one. A private once costs between 3-4k, i don't work so obviously that's not an option. I have no choice but to just go back eating healthily and changing my lifestyle which I do believe I can do. That remark about my weight from the security guy still gets to me but anyway thank you all for your lovely responses and support. Amazing people :)
  19. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    The security guard is an insecure dick. Probably makes fun of overweight people because one dumped him for being a dick. Good thing you have a protected conscience to keep you impervious to his disease! Keep it movin'. :thumb:
  20. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    LOL Thanks PB, I needed that laugh, yeah you're right only insecure people really say things like that. Thanks for the motivation.