My whole life was a joke

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bio, Jun 10, 2014.

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  1. Bio

    Bio Member

    I found a way to reach my first love ever, which was like 4 years ago.
    I decide to talk her, ask her if she ever fall in love with me.
    What happened, I told her how much I sacrificed for that love, how my life have been suck because of that love, now need to know the truth to keep going, and that will mean a lot for my entire life, actually would make a big different.
    What I got? I get HURTED.
    Sorry, but I can't say... I just get hurted :(
    You have no idea how much she was mean to me, how much I loved her, how much I think of her, even for a 4 years ago relationship.
    I just got the answer. I deserve it, I always been trying to contact her and get the answer, I just got it.

    Now that should make the difference for my life, but how can I keep going?
    The only idea I think of is suicide.
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    It is a big learning curve thing we seem to have to go through in life, that not everything we would want to happen does happen, especially when it comes to receiving the love from another person/other people that we had counted on. I am sorry that you feel so let down and heart sore because of this lost love, but please tell yourself that if she can do this to you and hurt you so much, she really does not deserve to have the power to destroy your life. Your life is your own, and the fact that you cannot be with her means that it was never meant to be in the first place, even though your feelings got so involved with her. We have to learn not to do this, and to learn how to trust wisely for the future. It is totally possible to get over the agonising disappointment of a broken heart, if you will be kind to yourself, think well of yourself and tell yourself that you are a worthwhile person who can overcome this set-back. Treat yourself to some fun things to do and resolve to look upon this memory as an experience from which you have been able to learn heaps :) Your thoughts and feelings will improve over time, if you want them to.
  3. Taanya

    Taanya Member

    urPrecious said wise things above. If this person hurt you so badly, she's not worth suffering for. Sadly, to get over a broken heart you have to become a little bit more selfish. Even if this person seemed like the most important thing in the world to you that is wrong. YOU are the most important thing in the world to you. And you have to learn that, throughout your life, people will hurt you, but only if you allow them to. Don't trust somebody else with the power to destroy you. You are strong and can get over anything, nothing is a tragedy so horrible that the only solution is suicide-it never is. If you know what it is like to be hurt, imagine what your suicide would do to your family. Aren't they worth sticking around for?

    Take care and if you need someone to talk to, you can always PM me. You have the strength to get over this, I know you do *hugs*
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    The thing about love is it fucking hurts, I mean this is coming from a guy who has been cheated on used yeah I kept loving and trusting. But you have had love, and you will find someone again, no one should be the reason for your death however hard it is, it will get easier that pain will slowly ease, sure it takes a long time and it is still hard as hell to deal with, but even though you wont forget you will heal you just have to give yourself the chance to.

    Be gentle on yourself please, and take care don’t do anything rash in the spur of the moment and reach out to those near you as they will want to support you - oh and also you do not deserve to hurt not now not ever.

    Take care

  5. Bio

    Bio Member

    I don't know what to say, to thank you.
    Your words mean a lot for me, it just HELPED.

    I feel stronger, more worth to live, and realized that what hapeened should be taken as experience to learn from.
    Thanks you everyone,
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    That's great news to hear Bio, you are WORTH IT you know!
  7. islandification

    islandification Well-Known Member

    The same breakup thing happened to me, twice. The first time I went through therapy for over a year (there were many other reasons but that was the trigger). The second time I almost laughed, because the setting and words were so similar to the first that the two women must have had the same scriptwriter. But that night I couldn't sleep and had to call the local suicide prevention line. The woman there was extremely sympathetic and I felt much better for having made that call. By all means do that if you need to, it's not a sign of weakness just self-preservation.
  8. Bio

    Bio Member

    Thanks, I will keep that in mind.
    I don't think the same thing will happen for me again, I get done with love.
    You too, don't want to take it third time, we have to learn from our experiences.
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