My wife left me...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by johnjaques, Jan 23, 2010.

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  1. johnjaques

    johnjaques New Member

    My wife of just about 6 months has left me.
    I'm 23, we met in college two years ago and lived together for the majority of that time, b4 deciding to get married, she's jamaican and i'm trinidadian.
    during our time living together in college i paid our rent bought our groceries paid the bills.

    we're both out of college now, and she's got a job, and i'm still unemployed, with loans to repay!!

    This week out of the blue, my wife decides she no longer wants to be with me, and says i need to get my life in order (as if i'm not trying)

    I'm left in an apartment now, with no money, and rent is due...

    I feel so used, i have begged her to not do this to me, but she refuses to change her mind, and today she said she doesn't even know why she married me in the first place.

    As you can imagine, i'm torn up inside, i've been crying my eyes out for days, i'm now at a breaking point where all i want to do is die, i keep lookin at that razor and wanting to cut myself, but then i think what if she changes her mind and comes back... and then other times i just want tie a rope to the ceiling and hang myself.

    If this continues any longer i'm gonna break and kill myself.
    but i also think that maybe this bit** should be the one to die...
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    aww I'm so sorry :hug: can't you get government money temporarily until you find a job?

    I'm so sorry this has been happening to you...
  3. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hello JohnJaques, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, it sounds like hell. You say that it was out of the blue, so you have no idea why she has suddenly decided to leave? How were things between you before, anything you can put your finger on? And have you been able to talk to her about her reasons for wanting to leave? Sorry you may have already done all this, but it might help to talk here about the background to give you a chance to get some perspective on it.

    And there's a tiny spark of anger at the end of your post which sounds to me like a bit of healthy self-preservation - yes, you are not the one who deserves to suffer, even though the pain is unbearable. If you can hold onto that anger it will keep you alive. And at the least, give yourself some time - the pain is still too raw right now, it's the worst time for you to make any final decisions about anything.

    Keep posting here, tell us more about yourself and what's been happening - it really will help.

    And welcome to the forum!
  4. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    The problems you listed so big that the advice here is not going to help you much. You need to see a professional, or even just your parents, or friends, they can help you best...

    I mean you know the best things you can do: apply for Unemployment checks, look for a job, resolve what you've been through in therapy.

    You NEED to apply for unemployment ASAP. As you said you need to pay rent. We don't want you to be homeless.

    Do you have any cash? Anything at all? Worse case scenerio go to mcdonalds and apply for a job, any grocery store, look around, I mean its better then being homeless right?

    Whatever you do right now, it takes energy. Try to think about these things when you are in a calm mood. Try to calm yourself.

    I'm sorry that your wife left you.
  5. In the long run, your wife leaving can be the greatest thing ever to happen. I wish my wife would leave. She is the cause of my depression and wanting to kill myself. Sorry, just being honest. Women are fine as long as they aren't a wife. They live to bring a man down.
  6. Indian81

    Indian81 Member

    Damn , I second that - Believe me dude , you killing yourself over someone as worthless as her would be a grave injustice to yourself and your family. I havebeen through a terrible breakup and know how numbing it is but believe me , as time passes , eventually you will feel nothing for her.
  7. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    My wife could have left me 5 years ago when I revealed to her that I was bi. There have been times I wish she had. But we've each grown through the process, and are closer now than ever before.

    Not saying you should get her back - just saying that the difficulties you're dealing with right now will serve you well throughout your life. I know that sounds trite, but I've discovered that it has worked. I'm still seeing a therapist and taking a lot of meds for depression, but life is a whole lot brighter than it was 5 years ago.

    So it can be with you. You may no longer have a wife, but you have yourself. Discover what you yourself can do to survive and succeed.

  8. If she left you, she doesn't want to be there. Who wants to live with someone who doesn't want to be there? Looks to me like you are biblically covered in dumping her, if that matters to you.

    Women are fine. Wives are trouble. There's a difference.
  9. Hi, Johnjaques.
    Let me tell you what I've learned about women. (This shouldn't take very long.) :wink:
    First rule to remember, is that if she doesn't treat you like the undisputed King of the World, you're doing something wrong. Evidently there was something that attracted her to you in the first place, So maybe you should re-examine your own attitudes, and actions, and try to make some sense out of what has changed in your (or her) life recently.

    Second rule is that if she doesn't want to be there, there isn't a single thing you can do about it - legally, that is. You can't tie her down, or chain her to a tree, or anything like that. If she really wants to go, you have to let her go..
    But there are so many other women out there. Yes, this one has your heart all wrapped up around her little finger. And yes, that apartment is so empty and lonely without her.
    But look at it like this. Look at all the personal freedom you have now! You don't have to be home at any certain hour, and you don't have to explain to someone else where you've been, what you've been doing or who you've been doing it with.
    So my suggestion to you is to get up off your duff, get out and enjoy life! You might even find that there are opportunities available to you now that you might have thought weren't even possible before.
    Hope you make it.
  10. kote

    kote Account Closed

    very very wise words in my experience and opinion!!!
  11. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    How are you doing after some time off? Tell us what you've done.

  12. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    He wrote one message on the 23rd, Hes not going to respond on this forum again.
  13. Dude my wife left me 3 years ago and not for any reason she wasnt workign she wasnt driving and yes we had a kid too ..i was earning and trying to balance my career and family life short after she left i had found some pretty pathetic porn clips of her being with couple of other guys and since then i am going though a hell i cannot say it to any one and i cannot forget about it ...and after all this i jsut think of my kid and the price that he is paying for not fault of his i hope i can make someone understand my situation i cannot live with her but at the same time i am forced to think about giving my kid both of his biological parents ....i have lost my sleep and now losing any hope for living too ...when i think i cannot stop from breaking down and feel this intense pressure of screaming out aloud alone in the free space just looking towards the blue cover....but still hanging on jsut by one thought anyday my if my kid thinks of his Dad and wants to see him he will be able to see me if i am alive and feel me ....that is the only thought is keeping me going and no i am not going to share my life wiht someone for who Marriage is just mere a convienence thing ...pls keep me in your prayers and i will keep everyone of you in mine for tough times dont last but tough people do ....
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