My wife told me today she is filing divorce

[mpk]

I have not been on this site for a while. I was just told today that by my wife she is filing divorce. We have been married for 18 years. I am now worrying about where I will go and being alone in my life. I am now 60 and it is tough to be alone.
I don't think the marriage can be saved. I started working on my sworn financial statement today. My stomach is in knots and my head is swimming with thoughts. I logically know I will survive this yet emotionally it is taking a toll.
I

 

[full]

Wishing you strength through this period. It is big change for sure and it takes its toll. Hopefully things work out and you will be able to find a place to stay and move on in due course of time.

 

[mpk]

Full thank you for your response. Rents in this State are expensive and I am surviving on a small pension and minimum wage job. Right now I am not going to go anywhere as I have a right to be here as it is my house too.
I feel the old depressive feelings getting deeper right now. I have sent an email to a counselor who is on my insurance, we shall see.

 

[full]

Deep breaths if possible and one day at the time. One blessing is that you can still stay in the house, if nothing helping you in having longer time to search for suitable place. That is good idea about counselor. Depression is a tricky monster we all need help with from time to time. Some states have government subsidized apartments. My mom moved in one when she was 62 and she is living just on SSI. Her rent never went over $200 per month. Maybe there are similar resources in your state as well.

 

[mpk]

Deep breaths if possible and one day at the time. One blessing is that you can still stay in the house, if nothing helping you in having longer time to search for suitable place. That is good idea about counselor. Depression is a tricky monster we all need help with from time to time. Some states have government subsidized apartments. My mom moved in one when she was 62 and she is living just on SSI. Her rent never went over $200 per month. Maybe there are similar resources in your state as well.

I have been breathing deeply, I am still on Lexapro from my previous bout with this disease. Right now I feel time is running out on finding a place to stay. I have even thought about getting rid of everything I own yet I know this is just a reaction to the situation.

 

[full]

Yeah, we do tend to think of things in a rush of a moment. It is still fresh, you were just handed the news so it is normal to feel this way. I know I've discarded and sold some things in the past when found in situations that seemed unresolvable, but then when the dust settled I realized I acted out of that first impulse. The main thing is that you are safe, even if some things material things are lost during the process, some of them can be recovered later on.

 

[mpk]

Yeah, we do tend to think of things in a rush of a moment. It is still fresh, you were just handed the news so it is normal to feel this way. I know I've discarded and sold some things in the past when found in situations that seemed unresolvable, but then when the dust settled I realized I acted out of that first impulse. The main thing is that you are safe, even if some things material things are lost during the process, some of them can be recovered later on.

I am trying not be impulsive about this. You are correct I was just handed the news even though I have for several months known it was going to happen yet put off starting to put things in a row to make it easier. It is stressful here to say the least but I am trying not to be angry with her yet it is tough.

 

[may71]

That's awful news. I'm sorry to hear that.

Right now I feel time is running out on finding a place to stay

Do you think the divorce is going to be amicable? Does your wife want you to move out right away?

211 might be able to help with housing, but as you said, you have a right to stay put for now. If you're willing to live with a roommate, that's one way to bring living expenses down.

If there's enough in your pension, you may be able to live outside of the US. There are a number of places in the world where you can live pretty comfortably on very little money.

I hope something can help

 

[mpk]

That's awful news. I'm sorry to hear that.

Do you think the divorce is going to be amicable? Does your wife want you to move out right away?

211 might be able to help with housing, but as you said, you have a right to stay put for now. If you're willing to live with a roommate, that's one way to bring living expenses down.

If there's enough in your pension, you may be able to live outside of the US. There are a number of places in the world where you can live pretty comfortably on very little money.

I hope something can help

Thank you for your response. I think it will start out amicable but turn ugly. I have worked my entire life to try and provide some financial comfort when it comes time to retire fully. I would probably lose a significant portion to her as she is disabled.
At this time she has not asked me to move out right away yet I have been looking for cheap apartments but even those are expensive. I have a phone consultation with an Attorney on Friday yet I am not sure I want to go that route.
As yet she has not filed as nothing is showing in the online Courts inquiry yet they could be behind.

 

[may71]

Thank you for your response

You're welcome!

I have a phone consultation with an Attorney on Friday yet I am not sure I want to go that route

Talking to a lawyer doesn't mean that you'll have to go to court. Hopefully you can get an out-of-court settlement that's amicable.

 

[Walker]

Man that really sucks. I'm so sorry to hear that. Make sure you don't leave the house before speaking with someone about your rights. Once you leave the house it's virtually impossible to get back into it, you know? I hope you're okay. Keep talking.

 

[mpk]

You're welcome!

Talking to a lawyer doesn't mean that you'll have to go to court. Hopefully you can get an out-of-court settlement that's amicable.

Thank you for response. I am talking to the lawyer to get advice on how I should proceed if she files. It is not something I want to do but feel I have to protect myself as I am 60 years old now and it is late in life to make up any loses.

 

[mpk]

Man that really sucks. I'm so sorry to hear that. Make sure you don't leave the house before speaking with someone about your rights. Once you leave the house it's virtually impossible to get back into it, you know? I hope you're okay. Keep talking.

Man that really sucks. I'm so sorry to hear that. Make sure you don't leave the house before speaking with someone about your rights. Once you leave the house it's virtually impossible to get back into it, you know? I hope you're okay. Keep talking.

Thanks for responding Walker. I am not leaving my house as 1) I have no where to go and 2) it is my house too. I am just trying to avoid any conflict that may occur.
I did have a zoom meeting with a mental health counselor so as I can try not to sink any further into the depression or dark zone.

 

[Dinolaur]

Hi @mpk

I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now and especially at the age of 60, it must be difficult
May I ask why she’s filing for divorce?
although at 60, you could still find love/companionship with someone else.
As Walker said, definitely don’t just leave the house, it’ll be difficult later if she goes through with it
You’re always welcome to talk to any of us, and we’ll always try out best to help you out
Please keep us updated (if you wish)
X

 

[may71]

Thank you

You're welcome!

I am talking to the lawyer to get advice on how I should proceed if she files. It is not something I want to do but feel I have to protect myself as I am 60 years old now and it is late in life to make up any loses.

I think that's a sensible approach. Hopefully things will go as well as the can go.

 

[KM76710]

Thank you for response. I am talking to the lawyer to get advice on how I should proceed if she files. It is not something I want to do but feel I have to protect myself as I am 60 years old now and it is late in life to make up any loses.

Sad situation to hear of but yes, talking to the lawyer is the first move. Wishing you the best in a tough time.

 

[mpk]

Hi @mpk

I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now and especially at the age of 60, it must be difficult
May I ask why she’s filing for divorce?
although at 60, you could still find love/companionship with someone else.
As Walker said, definitely don’t just leave the house, it’ll be difficult later if she goes through with it
You’re always welcome to talk to any of us, and we’ll always try out best to help you out
Please keep us updated (if you wish)
X

Hello Dinolaur. My wife has an autoimmune disorder. She that I cause her stress and tension so she is not getting any better. The illness is Lupus. I informed her I try not to cause any stress or tension for her yet that I have to deal with my own on my own. I walk on egg shells most of the day. Weekdays are not so bad as I work yet I have sat in my car outside the house for several minutes trying to get the nerve to go inside. Not very fun.

 

[mpk]

You're welcome!

I think that's a sensible approach. Hopefully things will go as well as the can go.

Thank you, I don't really want to go to a lawyer yet it is what it is.

 

[mpk]

Sad situation to hear of but yes, talking to the lawyer is the first move. Wishing you the best in a tough time.

KM76710 thank you

 

[Kiwi2016]

So sad to have just read about this @mpk. you are in my thoughts. Glad that you have reached out to your counselor. And I agree with all that has been said...take it one day at a time and talking to a lawyer can be helpful as he/she can objectively look at the situation to offer you various options/strategies for you to consider. Sending you s