my world seems to be collapsing

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sadcat, Jan 21, 2016.

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  1. sadcat

    sadcat Well-Known Member

    Everything seems to be falling apart.

    I have advanced in my cancer from one anti-hormone to two , and they are both in failure again. The new one /second one failed within a week. It was supposed to last 9 months.

    AM getting leukaphoresis to take out my T-cells and send them away to be treated and then returned for transfusion back into me. Have to do 3 cycles of it. Everything is so difficult during the procedures. Theleuka phoresis lasts more than 4hours on the table/bed with IV's in both arms and inability to get up to go to the bath room. And the transfusion procedures last more than 3 hours and i have had difficulty getting from the waiting infusion waiting room to the infusion room on time, due to their congestion. I got so upset on the first round , i had a panic attack in the infusion waiting room and nearly passed out.

    I will next be going ont a couple of very , very expensive drugs to try to prolong my life. But the new drugs cost upward of $ 8,000.00 per month , and i do not want to thro all of the money away on adding a few months of life. I am considering refusing the drugs. Am thinking that my wife will need that money after I am gone. And, I do not expect to last much longer. There are a few trials available , which could be some help. I do not know how far those are along. Seems as it doesn't matter much any more.

    I am in so much pain. I am usually in pain from sciatica , spinal stenosis and cancer in my spine. I had a fall recently and have been hurting in my hands , arms and legs. Recently the pain is so bad I can not even use my cane to walk - since i injured my arms so badly. I have been in s much pain I have not been able to sleep. I had to stop all pain opiates in order to qualify for the leukaphoresis based T-cell medicine. So, I have been more than 5 months without any opiates, and previously I had been on opiates for 20 years . My pain level is exceptional.

    If anyone can make any suggestions , I would appreciate it. I feel so lost.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi hun, I am SO sorry for what you are going through. When it comes down to should you pay for the meds, I would say yes definitely, i'm sure your wife would like to have you for as long as she can not have money when you're gone (that's just my opinion, i could be totally wrong) but that is what I would do. My sister was diagnosed with cervical cancer 2 weeks ago, it's extremely difficult just to even take it in. So I am really sorry you are going through this, it must be so emotionally draining. My only suggestion would be to try and make the most of what you have left and show and tell your wife how much you love her.((Hugs to you)) wishing you all the best xx
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