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My youth was wasted on being fat and ugly

foreverforgotten

Quiet Observer
SF Supporter
#22
I'm reading everyone's replies here. Feeling like I relate a lot.. I have a shaky place to live/ was facing homelessness 4 months ago.. I found a stranger as a roomate via online websites. Like roommates.com, diggz, etc. I paid memberships just so I could frantically post and message people about a place to live.

I'm 100 overweight.. Fat. never had a relationship. Because mental health wasted my youth too... My parents just died and I've no family or friends. I work minimum wage jobs. I understand how isolated from the world it feels..
people scare me too..
*sadhug
I'm rooting for you... It is possible, there is a way. ..don't give up... Even if you think its all BS.. I feel that..
 
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Kitty Katzington

Well-Known Member
#23
I'm reading everyone's replies here. Feeling like I relate a lot.. I have a shaky place to live/ was facing homelessness 4 months ago.. I found a stranger as a roomate via online websites. Like roommates.com, diggz, etc. I paid memberships just so I could frantically post and message people about a place to live.

I'm 100 overweight.. Fat. never had a relationship. Because mental health wasted my youth too... My parents just died and I've no family or friends. I work minimum wage jobs. I understand how isolated from the world it feels..
people scare me too..
*sadhug
I'm rooting for you... It is possible, there is a way. ..don't give up... Even if you think its all BS.. I feel that..
I've had a few short term relationships, most of them when I was a teen/early 20s. They always end badly. I was alone for about 4 or 5 years before my last relationship, and that one ended about 3 years ago. It might actually be my last one because I still haven't gotten over them.

As for the weight, it really might be too late to fix it. I'm in my 30s now so I don't heal very well and I'm dealing with so many medical issues. I'm still working, but I get headaches, nausea, severe body pain in several areas, etc. My most recent injury is a burning pain in my feet and ankles, probably fucked up tendons. The last few months have been torture trying to work when I can barely walk. Honestly if this is how my 30s are going to be, I don't want to live to see 40+
 

foreverforgotten

Quiet Observer
SF Supporter
#24
I've had a few short term relationships, most of them when I was a teen/early 20s. They always end badly. I was alone for about 4 or 5 years before my last relationship, and that one ended about 3 years ago. It might actually be my last one because I still haven't gotten over them.

As for the weight, it really might be too late to fix it. I'm in my 30s now so I don't heal very well and I'm dealing with so many medical issues. I'm still working, but I get headaches, nausea, severe body pain in several areas, etc. My most recent injury is a burning pain in my feet and ankles, probably fucked up tendons. The last few months have been torture trying to work when I can barely walk. Honestly if this is how my 30s are going to be, I don't want to live to see 40+
I feel that.. I'm 31.. I had back problems since 20 but they seem to be getting worse. Heel spurs are a really annoying thing when walking.. And knee pain..I feel like if I lose 100 lbs Its the root of most of my physical issues. But as we get older, the drive and energy just isn't there. Honestly, who wants to go to the gym after a 8-10hr shift, or in the morning, when its so hard to even get out of bed?... 😔
I understand.. I'm sorry friend... Try to hang in there.. just staying afloat is all you can do sometimes...
 
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Kitty Katzington

Well-Known Member
#26
Hey there @Kitty Katzington ,

How are you doing? I would love to hear an update. Remember, good or bad, we accept & want to support you.

🦩🦩🦩🦩

PS-I tagged you in a post @may71 made. Seems like a great resource. I have been looking at the site, seems legit. All calls answered by trans volunteers. Translifeline
I'm worse than I was last time I posted here. I'm giving all my money each week to my landlord and still can't catch up on owed rent. Year Lease is supposed to renew this month, but I'm expecting him to tell me any day now that I have to move out. I have nowhere to go if that happens and winter is already brutally cold up here. Not like it would matter much, since the heat in my apartment doesn't work and I'm too much of a chicken-shit coward to say anything about it with how far behind on rent I am. At least my car hasn't completely broken down yet, but that's only a matter of time.

Therapy ended up not working out, so I'm still struggling without any sort of treatment for any of my issues. I saw the website you mentioned, but without even knowing what I want I'm not sure how much they could help. I had been taking a few steps to make myself feel a little better, but only ran into setbacks. Tried to feminize my voice, but the first time I tried using it I had friends tell me I sounded like the Johnny Depp version of Willy Wonka, so I gave up
 
#27
I am glad you updated. Sorry that it’s worse. Don’t give up. I think there’s better days ahead.

Please consider calling the Translifeline. Did you look at the screenshots of information? You can talk. Or they will talk to you.
There are a lot of resources listed. Look at the website.
Idk what its like, but it would be great if you called and could tell us. Calling is courageous!
I attached the shots for you to look at again.
I hope you can have hope. 🌈
DFDA58E6-121A-4687-8CA1-67C5427C4D7F.jpeg B7BA8FD7-DBF1-4BEC-99A2-61048BE01DBA.jpeg
 

SillyOldBear

Teddy Bears Rule! 🐻
Staff Alumni
#30
I understand. Been fat all my life. Learned to hate myself because of it. My parents tried to bribe me to lose weight. They meant well. But it taught me that I was ugly and no good. Never had a relationship. Never will. You can't succeed at that when you hate yourself.
I was going to get on the bathroom scales this morning. They no longer work. I ordered a new one. Probably a mistake.
 

Angel38

Well-Known Member
#31
To anybody here with weight problems: I was the same. Get into a good therapy where you get a good nervous system regulation and you will lose weight without diet. Our body knows exactly what it needs and how much it needs, weight gain happens (unless hormonal), because stress nervous system regulation managed via eating. I did it with somatic therapy (Irene Lyon on YT can explain), I could not imagine this can be done without effort. I also got the comment many times that I had no will-power. It has nothing to do with that.
 
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Angel38

Well-Known Member
#32
I understand. Been fat all my life. Learned to hate myself because of it. My parents tried to bribe me to lose weight. They meant well. But it taught me that I was ugly and no good. Never had a relationship. Never will. You can't succeed at that when you hate yourself.
I was going to get on the bathroom scales this morning. They no longer work. I ordered a new one. Probably a mistake.
Try to get into therapy. You are not worthless at all!
 
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Angel38

Well-Known Member
#37
To anybody here with weight problems: I was the same. Get into a good therapy where you get a good nervous system regulation and you will lose weight without diet. Our body knows exactly what it needs and how much it needs, weight gain happens (unless hormonal), because stress nervous system regulation managed via eating. I did it with somatic therapy (Irene Lyon on YT can explain), I could not imagine this can be done without effort. I also got the comment many times that I had no will-power. It has nothing to do with that.
PS. For anybody looking for a good method on losing weight: Intermittent fasting.
(it helped me until I got into therapy)
This is an interview with a doctor about it from a famous/prestigious health clinic:
https://vimeo.com/user21317862
 
#38
I'm sorry that you are in denial. It would help if you found stimulating signs in or around you. You are fixated on yourself. Think about the fact that people have it much harder than you do for health reasons or other circumstances in life. LIFE SEEMED TO STOP when I gave up on myself and gave in to my depression. Thankfully, some people made me believe in myself. I began to fight the excess weight. I ordered a smart body scale Vont from Amazon. I started going to the gym and slowly started dancing. Music and movement stimulate me to fight for my place in the sun.
 
#40
I'm sorry that you are in denial. It would help if you found stimulating signs in or around you. You are fixated on yourself. Think about the fact that people have it much harder than you do for health reasons or other circumstances in life. LIFE SEEMED TO STOP when I gave up on myself and gave in to my depression. Thankfully, some people made me believe in myself. I began to fight the excess weight. I ordered a smart body scale Vont from Amazon. I started going to the gym and slowly started dancing. Music and movement stimulate me to fight for my place in the sun.
I have health issues too, not just depression. I used to be a lot more active until my body started breaking down. I used to love dancing, but now I struggle just to do my damn job every day. By the time my shift is over, I'm so worn out and in so much pain that I can barely walk. Every time I attempt to do any exercise, I just end up injuring myself worse because my body mechanics are awkward as hell. Sorry that I don't have the money or the free time to get physical therapy, or numerous surgeries, or whatever you are about to suggest.

This is why I hate talking about specific issues. Everyone suggests bullshit that I physically or financially can't do because they don't know the full story. Even if I wrote a full essay detailing everything wrong with me to try and avoid that, I would still get these suggestions because nobody would read the whole thing. They would just assume I'm lazy and tell me to do things that would put me in more pain
 

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