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Im an 18 year old attending a college where i have barely any friends. I hide the fact that im gay and everyday i ask myself, why i am this way and what did i do to deserve it? I've resorted to doing things i'd never thought i'd be doing just to not be lonely and hanging out with people who clearly use me for money,drugs, and other stupid shit. I find it hard to make friends because i get along better with girls and noone here even thinks im remotely gay. My lifes basically a lie and i hide who i truly am. I'm not able to transfer because of the scholarship, its either here or be home and anythings better than home. Everytime i look anything up online all i ever see is "It gets better". Such complete bullshit, it never did, and i doubt its going to. Whats the point anymore if theres such little good and so much bad in your life. I dont see why id want to continue through this shit anymore. They say people who kill themselves go to hell, gays cant go to heaven anyway can they? .. I dont know if were suppose to post these things but i just want peoples views/oppionions. Sorry for having to rant about this, just had to "let it all out".


Staff Alumni
Welcome, Chris! I feel like I mask my feelings a lot as well. I'm glad you've joined the forum.. and :welcome:

Take care....Alex


Well-Known Member
Chris, god, the true god, not the distorted human version, is pure love and acceptance. You will not go to hell for being gay, and if anything god would be distraught at seeing one of its creations in so much pain that it chose to end its own life, please hang in there, if you want to talk then there are people here who will listen, but you need to ask for it, dont hold that pain in it will make you sick and will ultimately destroy you. Your sexuality does not define you, it is only a facet of your entire being, do not let petty minded people poison you against who you are.
chris i may not be gay but i know what its like to want to be anywhere besides home.. i dont even know how its called home anymore it should be called hell. im laying in bed right now just listening to the rest of my "family" argue. no dad, hes in jail and moms a lowlife with her alcoholic bf who almost killed us driving the other day. im in college and i wish so much it wasnt in this state. i wanna be far away


Well-Known Member
First, I think you need to accept the fact that you're gay. It's okay that you like men. It's fine and the good people in this world accept that. You need to be happy for who you are and love yourself. After that, I think it'd be best if you came out. You need to be 'out and about'.

There are people who will judge you, but those people are pathetic, so who cares what they think? Just ignore them.
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