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Nan, I'm sorry.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by FrainBart, Mar 25, 2012.

  1. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry Nan that I never saw you before you passed, It's nearly two years now, and I haven't once stopped thinking about you. I deeply regret not seeing you before you passed on, I blame myself everyday for not seeing you. I was scared, I wanted to remember you from my childhood memories and not how ill you had become. I know I was selfish.
    I was pregnant with my daughter when you passed, I booked her 20 scan on your birthday, so I could have a wonderful birthday present for you... But you never reached that day. You adored children, you had such a legacy, you were our fifth generation, to all your grand children, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren you were always our nan. Mum collected some of your stuff, just little bits of you, your bobbins, your craft bag, I have two bobbins in a box saved as little memory of you, they are in my daughters keepsake box.I have the picture of you and granddad on my wall, when ever I go past it, my daughter always points and says mook naa. She knows you, even though she never met you. She has a little piece of you, well your name.

    She has your little cross necklace in a box, the one you had as a child, such a delicate cross, I'm keeping it for when she is older.

    I really am sorry nan. One day I will have courage and visit your grave, I havent been since your funeral. It was hard, the train was late bit I ran, barefoot from the train station across town to ne there,I made it.

    I know you.would have forgiven me if you were still with us, in time I will learn to forgive myself. Thank you Nan, for the memories you have given me. I love you, and will always hold you close in my heart.
  2. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    What a beautiful tribute. Never forgotten, you have so much of your nan to keep... always. :hug:
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    It sounds like your Nan was a wonderful person. She would understand why you weren't there, and she would forgive you. Try not to be so hard on yourself and feel so guilty. I'm sure she is always looking out for you. :hug: