Natural Death/Stigma or Euthanasia

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by emgreen, Apr 16, 2013.

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  1. emgreen

    emgreen New Member

    I just had a blood test this morning as part of a routine physical. One of the tests they ran was for HIV. I've been putting off having an HIV test for months because I think I've developed some of the symptoms -- & I didn't want to know. I won't receive any results until I see my physician on Friday. While I know people can live for years with HIV (e.g. Magic Johnson), I don't want to. I couldn't bear to tell my family that I've contracted the disease...& I don't want to live with the social stigma. I have a <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> & I'd much rather drift off & avoid all the BS.

    For those of you wondering, I've been primarily sexually abstinent for several years -- I'm no "Typhoid Mary." In addition to the potential of having contracted HIV, I'm also Bipolar I. Dealing with both would be more than I could bear. One of the symptoms of mania is hypersexuality and, in fact, the incident during which I might have contracted this took place four days before I was involuntarily committed to the hospital due to a week without sleep & the resulting psychosis. I'm not making excuses for this anonymous encounter...That's just the way it happened.

    Anyways, I've made concrete plans, down to the smallest detail, about how I will deal with the situation if I find the test is positive. I have the means & the motive. This transcends depression or anxiety -- I simply view it as an early form of euthanasia. Society sucks...rather than being viewed as a "leper," I'd rather bow out before the symptoms become manifest. I already bear the stigma of being on disability because of my bipolar...adding HIV to the fire would just be more than I could bear.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The stigma you talk about was when HIV first came about the stigma is not there now people are more educated about this illness and are aware that it is not obtained just through sexual acts. You are judging others hun there is new medication now that can and does stabilize this illness just like insulin helps a diabetic Why even go there until you find results I am sorry you are under such stress but wait and see what the doc has to say ok Let us know how it goes
  3. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Its best if you wait till you get the results from your dr and see what he/she says but please do not consider suicide as way out. it is not the way to go.
    You docs will do everything in power to keep you alive x
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I would be patient and wait to see the results as difficult as that may be. There is a huge huge difference between HIV positive and AIDS - with HIV simple medications and lifestyle changes (minimal based on your post) are all that is needed. So far as social stigma- short of a very select few jobs and your Dr I am unsure why you would need to tell anybody at all unless you chose to so really there is no stigma unless you choose...
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