Near death through hanging.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Evo_L, Mar 29, 2007.

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  1. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    Anyone else experienced this?

    I hung myself awhile back, I'd had enough, I tried hanging myself previously for bit but this was the first time I really let myself go (quite literally). <mod edit: bunny - method> I hung myself from the beams of the garage roof. I stepped of box and swung, the initial pull on my neck was quite stressful. I swung like a pendulm at first, it felt like all the blood in my body had shot up into my head. I began to panick badly, I was choking and it felt like my tongue was swelling up. I began to feel heavy, kinda like sleepy. I felt bad, as I began to realise that this really was the real Mc Coy that I wasn't going to get out of this one I began to panick even more. I didn't feel like I was going to a better place at all, it was dark and scary. It gave me this feeling as if I could possibly do anything or give anything to be out of this position I would. With my last ounce of breathless strenght I reached up and pulled myself up the cable, it would undo easily at first at all, it had tightened to the point of becoming solid around my neck.

    It was like coming up after swimming a length underwater, or possibly two or three lengths. I was really physically exhausted and for a while I sat breathless dazed like I had been sniffing poppers.

    Afterwards i looked in the mirror and noticed loads of red dots on my face, kinda like freckles, these were burst capilaries due to the force of the blood being pushed into my head and surface area of my face. The blood spots lasted a few days.

    I was really dissapointed in myself that I gave up so easily when faced with death. It just wasn't a plesant feeling at all, as previously expressed, it was the kinda feeling you'd do anything humanly possibly to get rid of.

    I haven't properly attempted suicide since.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2007
  2. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    Welcome to the forum.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I tried to choke myself several times last year. Your words describe it good. Take care.
  3. MrDepressed

    MrDepressed Guest

    I can relate to your experience, my only difference is that in the serious attempts I never saved myself, sadly, but once the rope broke and the other 2 times I was cut down, as I was found before the end could come... but I agree that it is a terrible experience.
  4. I personally believe that if you try to attempt suicide and fail, that you are not meant to die yet. I'm not saying it's God or anything that is keeping you alive, I'm saying that life itself is keeping you alive. Death is not as random as people believe. It is timed and delicate.
  5. Me, I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather (unlike the rest of the passengers that were in the car at the time...)


    Actually I've been sleeping for the past 10 days. And I pray not to wake up. Sleep is my favorite release. I dont mind being 'gone'. There is no meaning in my life - no purpose - no meaning...
  6. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member


    Hahahah, Yeah GOD.

    Fuck that shit, there's no god nor is there any mystical force balancing things up out there, there's no concious force governing our lives. Whatever spark that started off the universe and gave life to this planet isn't a being of particular thought or duty of care towards us. Look at people on this forum, complaining of being disabled, ugly and in very unfortunate positions. For a good 60% of the world people do have a choice and create their own lives, however there is a sad unfortunate percentage who are doomed, there's no god in that equation. I'm not one to mock religion usually, I don't listen to heavy metal and rant about how god is dead because Marylin Manson told me, religion is not the cause of all the trouble in the world but it's also a heaped pile of absolute shite also!

    I've got grievous physical problems in my life that are going to condemn me to a pitiful life of utter constant frustration. There's fuck all I can do to over come it too. I've been on varied ammounts of medication for the last six years, all with no success at all, it hasn't changed my mood at all and with each year passing I become more tragically depressed and desperate. It ain't anything medicine or therapy can cure, my problems are physical.

    When I think about how desperately unfortunate my entire life has been I get filled with rage, I just want to lash out, I had to stop self harm because I was making such a mess of it but it gave a lot of release.

    Oh fuck this, I'm gonna go get drunk.
  7. Henry Krinkle

    Henry Krinkle Member

    You should try Black Metal. I think you'd like it. Try to get some Romanian stuff; none more kvlt than Romania.
  8. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    I prefer electronic music.
  9. Stylez

    Stylez Well-Known Member

    Damn man that is some serious shit. Whatever happened in your life you should feel greatful you survived. What happened in your life to try to commit suicide? Stay strong bro...
  10. Henry Krinkle

    Henry Krinkle Member

    Try some metal electronica.
  11. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    I listen to a lot of breakcore which does have a bit of metal in it, like Drumcorps and so on.
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