Nearing my limit

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 101N, Nov 5, 2008.

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  1. 101N

    101N Member

    I'm so tired...

    I have no reason to be sad I don't think.
    I go to an extremly well known college.
    I get good grades.
    Everyone tells me how independent, mature, pretty, intelligent etc. I am.
    But I don't feel like I'm living life for myself at all.
    Nothing seems worthwhile. Everything just seems so pointless to me.
    Alot of the time I feel like just giving up.
    I'm isolating myself from people and withdrawing from social situations which is just making things worse.
    I keep suffering from this cycle of depression that comes and goes every couple of months.
    I keep pushing because suicide feels like just giving up.
    But I'm sick of telling myself just push a little harder and then you can rest only to start the process over again.
    I'm still here because of my mother, and because I'm afraid of death.
    But I'm gradually losing my fear of dying and my mother isn't around to guilt trip me right now.
    I'm just so awfully tired.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi 101N...and welcome...sometimes we do not see how the stress of everyday life mounts up...if you are at a uni, there are student services, and counseling support...maybe speaking to someone IRL would help...also, please know we care and that we are here...please post and let us know what is happening with you...welcome again and big hugs, J
  3. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    A counsellor could turn your world around. I hope you find one soon.

  4. 247j

    247j Active Member

    101N your honesty amazes me to admit you are afraid of death to admit how tough your finding things.

    I can tell your really hurting but I can tell you just want to break through from this constant life cycle your in.

    You know when life is straight forward and there is nothing to be depressed about well that can make you depressed on it's own.

    Stay strong, break free from the cycle take up some crazy hobby start doing something for yourself something you want to do find something your passionate about put 110% into it.

    Don't leave this world without trying EVERYTHING there is to try because you wouldn't want to go knowing something could have turned your world around and made you happy.

    Feel free to drop me a message for a chat ANYTIME :)


  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey 101N,
    I know how you feel about Isolating, I have been locked in my room for 15 years. This past three years my therapist has actually gotten me to venture out a little at a time. Then my daughter and grandaughter moved in with us and required my help to get around. I would take her three or four places putting in applications and would have to tell her thats it for the day, and would go home and right to my room. It is my safe place where the world can't get to me.
    I am telling you from experience you do not want to isolate your self it really sucks. I recommend you find a therapist and spill your guts out to her/him. They can only help if you tell all, so they can put togethor a plan to help you!!!
    Please try and find a group at school or talk with your counselor at school, anything that takes your mind off how you are feeling right now. My only friends are the ones I have made here on the forum!! Let us help support you and to become your friends. You can tell all here because no one knows who you are!! Give it a go and Stay Safe!!~Joseph~P.S. Welcome to the forum I almost forgot!!!
  6. 101N

    101N Member

    Thanks for all of the kind messages. I'm not in such a bad state today. I still can't say everything is all right but I'm not so close to giving up. I know I should find some kind of professional help but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what everyone would think and Iin some ways I think 'm afraid of what I might find out about myself.

    I know I have to keep trying and that I need to let down my walls and let other people help me. But for now I think simply posting on this forum is all I can handle and even thats hard. I look foward to talking to all of you.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    O.K. anytime you want to talk we are here for you!!If you would like to talk one on one then just PM one of us and we will chat with you!!!~Joseph~
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