I'm so tired... I have no reason to be sad I don't think. I go to an extremly well known college. I get good grades. Everyone tells me how independent, mature, pretty, intelligent etc. I am. But I don't feel like I'm living life for myself at all. Nothing seems worthwhile. Everything just seems so pointless to me. Alot of the time I feel like just giving up. I'm isolating myself from people and withdrawing from social situations which is just making things worse. I keep suffering from this cycle of depression that comes and goes every couple of months. I keep pushing because suicide feels like just giving up. But I'm sick of telling myself just push a little harder and then you can rest only to start the process over again. I'm still here because of my mother, and because I'm afraid of death. But I'm gradually losing my fear of dying and my mother isn't around to guilt trip me right now. I'm just so awfully tired.