Every day i feeling a little bit emptier and a whole lot closer to committing.. I've tried for so long and when i have a good run it just jumps back into my life determined to conquer me. And to be honest, all i want to do is let it. 'It' being the suicide monster living in the closet of my mind. It won't let me close the door and it sits lurking in the dark waiting to pounce, and when it does... well that's the end. Spose the only way to explain how i feel is with this metaphor. every day i feel more and more emotionless about suicide and the effects it will have on those around me. the more i think about it the more my mind becomes a vacant room. Everything still and undisturbed. That's how i'm seeing the result of my death. I wake up unsure if today will be the day. I then oblige to my duties and wake up the next morning disappointed in my lack of action and dread the tedious hours ahead with a constant death wish leeched on to my every move and thought i make. I ponder on whether i should make a final thread or message, but i know that when i do go through with it there will be no last words from me. The world will be mute and I will fade out in silence.. The world will remain a vacant room.. undisturbed by my departure.