Nearly... now i'm in an odd mood

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shuya, Jan 31, 2011.

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  1. Shuya

    Shuya Member

    :i'm sorry:

    I was on chat earlier with some fantastic people, but I suddenly went into a downer. I had this image of a tree in my head, i'd seen it on my 'daily drives' - basically the only time I get out of the house at the moment due to being a jobless tw@ - so I got in my car, drove down the country lane past this tree, back the other way, then turned around again and drove past it, and the last time I went back towards it there was a tractor in the field behind and a car coming the other way.

    I ditched the effort, drove back like a nutjob and nearly crashed but the car's good enough to handle it so I was ok.

    The strange thing was, I felt fine, like it was the right thing to do. Even now i'm 'fine' but I regret not doing it the first time around. I'm not going crazy, i'm watching Top Gear.

    I couldn't stop it and didn't see anything wrong with it. Even now i'm not sure if it was a bad thing.

    I said in my HELLOOO thread that it all seemed rational so I guess i've convinced myself it's the right thing to do.

    I probably look like i'm begging for help, but i'm just wondering if anybody else knows how to manage this kinda feeling? No need for PMs, i'm quite happy to be open on here anonymously :)
  2. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member


    Words don't seem quite enough to console you and can't fix things for you, but hope it helps to know you're not alone and that we know the feeling...

    Do you think you could speak to your G.P. and tell them how you're feeling? It is quite understandable that you feel the way you do but you deserve to feel better... Keep posting... cause we really do care. You are not alone.

    Take care
    Ditsy x
  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Bloody unemployment!

    I'm with you as its hard not working regular.

    As for the tree - you don't want to do a Marc Bolan, he was the British pop star who crashed into a tree and died. IF you feel like doing this again or you have had thoughts of suicide you should see a GP and maybe try some medication.

    That said if you had a job it might make things better so medication would be some kind of thing to see you through the unemployment.

    What sort of work is you are looking for?
  4. Shuya

    Shuya Member

    Thanks Ditsy I got your message :) <3

    Peace, unemployment did this to me last time, this time it's different for a plethora of reasons but it's just the lack of job.

    I'm only after crappy office work or something, just so I can move up north, but it isn't coming. If it doesn't come soon I dunno what'll happen.

    I've been so good at coping on my own, here's hoping I can hang on in a little longer :)
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    We're in he same boat Shuya, although I get the odd chance to work I got to admit that unemployment is a BIG thing in why I can get the blues.

    When you are unemployed, 'other reasons' for feeling bad are amplified. I mean, no woman for example, its a catch 22 when unemployed as I'm sure, like me, you really don't want to offer a women a 'date' in which you have to fake some kind of fit to avoid the bill.

    Office work, I know a few people who do that line of work. A lot of it seems to be through agencies although often as not you work for an agency and the firm employing you will find it cheaper to employ you if you are good at the job. A lot of firms abuse this system, but in the long run having agency workers is a costly thing and many offices have their own systems which take a few weeks to learn and years to perhaps know inside out. That means even if you go for agency work - often as not you end up with the job employed by the firm. That includes your holidays and so on.

    Best bet is to maybe sign up for some agencies in whatever area you might move to, IF you really have to move that is.

    As for moving up north - could be easier than you think as there are lots of properties tied in with local councils - called social housing. You can visit a council website of any areas which you want to move to and see the rent prices and so on. Only in London do you have the massive waiting lists - up north, many councils have pretty decent property available there and then. My area has double glazed, central heating, and that's the council housing! It all got renovated and having a decent home, one that just needs a sofa, bed and a fridge, oven and a lick of paint!

    It might be easier to actually get one of these properties whilst unemployed as you can get a loan or social grant which would buy you the basics such as oven, fridge freezer, so on and so forth.

    As for your situation unemployed - have you considered any of the courses out there to maybe gain a few more skills or perhaps make sure a CV has certification relating to that skill? My area has had plenty of courses out there - we do not know if the cuts will impact but suspect so. Either way the unemployed are a massive group and in the past we helped each other in times of high unemployment with various groups that at least gave the unemployed an opportunity for education and so on.

    We will also have some kind of social disorder as the unemployment grows. We can see this all over the world and I'm guessing a lot of men in the UK feel like we are being left out in the cold and denied the basic right to have the chance to make a living. Stay with us and maybe protest later in the year when we all feel a bit better with the sun out.

    My advice is to use your time on the dole to at least keep sharp. Education is a good one and if you can learn a few more skills or keep up with the various new software changes (for instance, office 2011 could be ticked off on a CV)

    Anyhow Shuya, feel free to add any more issues on your mind here.

    Set aside feelings like you are nothing because you are unemployed. There are millions of us and we better start to see some jobs created or else we will have jobs created just clearing up the mess!

    Hang on in there - you've done great coping by yourself - but don't keep it all to yourself. I hope you have some family out there or someone you connect to. I don't want to pry there but I usually ask about family as its good when we get along with our kin or at least agree to disagree.

    Moving up north is something many do. In my area i know many who have moved from this country and other countries also. You can go to a pub and always be made welcome. Work also, up north, its more friendly than down south. Just sitting on the London Tube with everyone trying the best to avoid you looking at them - now that is depressing. On trains in my area, often you get people talking when you do not want to talk. But you do talk and the journey soon passes.

    Good luck.
  6. Shuya

    Shuya Member

    Thank you for your comment :) feel better already. I'm re-reading this over and over again ^^
  7. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Nothing is a sure thing, remember you could wake up in the hospital worse off than you are now.

    Please rethink your decision......

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