nearly there

I'm nearly at my end and to be honest with you, i can't wait. this has been a very long 18 years and i am tired of it all. i don't think i can hold out much longer.

chris
xx

 

Chris if you are at that point time to get help okay go to hospital and tell them you need help now. YOu do not know what the future will bring you so please get some help so you can stay and see. Please call someone take you to hospital and get you to inpatient for awhile hugs

 

Hello Chris,

I want you to know that i'm here to help you, i may be hundreds of miles away however i'm with you - you seem to have a fighter within you since you've passed through 18 years - i believe in you - you have the power and you deserve happiness. By posting here 1% of you or even more wants you to live - i want to you to hold onto this part.

You are maybe thinking that by suiciding you will be relieved from pain, relief however is a feeling and you need to be alive in order to be able to feel. You will not feel this relief once you take your life.

 

How did you hold out the last 18 years?

 

Dear eagle/chris,

I’ve read some of your other posts. You are such a warm loving soul…

Please remember that you do have a lot to live for…also for your bf…

I’m sorry that you’ve been going through a lot at such a young age. The wisdom in you is already shining out through your saying like “just be yourself and things will turn out as they turn out”…

My friend Nick is also a gay man and he made a video below which you may find helpful in a way:

http://vimeo.com/21947550

Nick has fought all his life about his sexual orientation. It was probably more difficult/painful to be gay when he was a young man. He even married a woman and had kids (lived a lie for a while). He is now a man with free spirit - liberated from the mind. His passion is to help other gay people, especially teenagers. He is surely glad that he has lived to this day…

The truth of life is that there is nothing wrong with your sexual orientation. It’s the ignorance of the human mind that has made nature of things (including our human nature) so complicated. Follow your heart and instinct. You have the right to live your life the way you are. It’s hard to live beyond others’ opinions/judgements, but all opinions/judgements are out of ignorance - this is the truth of life. This is beyond belief - we can see the truth of life when our mind is quiet and look deep within ourselves. Like my friend Nick, more and more people are awakening to the truth of life. There are many places in the world (such as where I live) where people are quite open-minded about being gay, etc…

No thoughts (opinions/judgements) are ultimately real or true except unconditional loving thoughts. Here is a song you may like:

Lady Gaga’s Born This Way http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG0wi1m-89o

There is a lot of truth being told in the song.

A truthful life is being true to our heart - our true nature. Live for/as who you truly are...at least give yourself more time before that "final" decision...

With loving wishes and hugs :hug:

 

hang on in their chris.

we're here

 

Hey Chris,

I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling right now. But seeing you're only 18 you have so much to live for. I know it's tough sometimes, and it seems like there's nothing to live for but there is.

I saw that your struggling with your sexuality as well. If you ever need someone to talk to regarding this or anything feel free to message me.

Keep your chin up.

 

i understand how you feel. you can get through this

 

thank you all for your kind words. I'm talking to my psychiatrist on wednesday and hopefully going inpatient as a sort of last ditch attempt at life.

if anyone's got any advice on how to do it it would be very appreciated

 

You tell your psychiatrist that you need help now that you are suicidal and you need to be hospitalized to keep you safe to get you stable Make him hear okay don't leave until you get hospital stay. hugs

 

i'll let my nuirse who is coming with me know that its my intention as well and she may be able to help me argue it

 

Thanks for keeping us up to date and well done for taking the decision to visit your psychiatrist, update us on how you feel these next days.

 

Very nice idea, well done - you have the power and the will to live - both are very important